Someone Tie Her Down

July 31, 2007 · Filed Under Freaks, Media Weirdness, Public Humiliation 

britney-nuts.jpg

Remember the days when we would daydream about what it looked like under her teensy-weensy Catholic schoolgirl dress??

Now it would be like looking under Charles Manson’s boxers.

As another 24 hours have passed, Britney Spears made yet another embarrasing appearance in the news. It seems that she threatened to kill a photographer.

Oh, yeah … and not with an umbrella this time.

MSN is reporting that Britney, who at one time had some sort of musical career, threatened to kill a photographer as she left a spa. This is just the kind of post-rehab behavior one would expect from a contrite mother of two:

Spears yelled “I am going to kill you!” and cursed at Andrew Deetz, a photographer who says he was beaten by Spears’ bodyguard on Thursday, according to a statement released by Deetz’s lawyers.

After Spears’ bodyguard beat the shit out of the photographer, Spears came after him again. She threw a baby bottle at him, and then this heartwarming exchange took place:

Then, in front of several other hotel guests and bystanders, Spears threatened to kill Deetz and said he should get a restraining order against her because she was going to kill him or hire someone that would, it said.

Smart!! 

I can only imagine the memories now forming inside the minds of Tater Tot and Small Fry, who are now 22 and 10 months old respectively.

In countries and time periods less “civilized” than the current climate of the United States, a person like Britney would be burned as a witch, publicly flogged, or locked in a cellar. Yet, thanks to the new policy of tolerance for pointlessly rich celebrites, Britney is free to roam the streets, baring her teeth and tossing outdoor gear, profanities, and death threats at will.

Fortunately the photographer has decided to retaliate in that most American way: LAWSUIT!!!!

Go get her, buddy!!!!!!

Last 5 posts by Ray

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Comments

3 Responses to “Someone Tie Her Down”

  1. Eric on July 31st, 2007 8:06 pm

    She is fucking crazy. She needs to carve a X in her forehead.

  2. Ray on July 31st, 2007 8:07 pm

    Already working on it….keep an eye on our movie screen :)

  3. KC on July 31st, 2007 9:07 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH!! That picture is hilarious. Someone please take those kids away before she EATS them!!!

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