The Spawn of Oz
There are some things that simply cannot and should not be remade, reimagined, recycled, or regurgitated. I would actually like to create a list of untouchable movies; on my list you would see films like Citizen Kane, the first two Godfather films, Jaws, Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back, Halloween, Alien, Gone With The Wind, and Catwoman. C’mon … you don’t really want to see a remake of Catwoman, do you??
Very high on that list would be The Wizard Of Oz. You do not touch that film in any way. It’s criminal in a non-celebrity way: punishable by death.
But apparently Todd McFarlane does not agree.
Varietyreports that McFarlane and Josh Olson (A History of Violence) have gotten a greenlight from Warner Brothers to pursue a revisionist version of L. Frank Baum’s Oz books. Simply entitled Oz, the film will revise many of the most beloved characters in movie history in order to - in their minds - appeal to modern audiences.
Their changes include:
- A buxom, Ripley-style Dorothy.
- No singing munchkins.
- Toto is a snarling warthog.
- The Lion is vicious.
Yikes, this sounds like shit.
To the left is a picture of what the so-called Cowardly Lion would look like. As is the case with most of Todd McFarlane’s junk, I think the Lion will cause children everywhere to piss in their little panties.
There are two things escaping the attention of these two dumbshits regarding this reimagining. First of all, nobody wants to see a Spawn version of Oz; nobody even went to sere McFarlane’s Spawn version of Spawn when it came out in theaters several years ago. Secondly, They already tried to update and modernize the Oz characters once before in the hideous Return To Oz. And that sucked. And BOMBED.
You simply cannot touch the original masterpiece. Sure, everything looks like a painted studio set. Yes, the flying monkey’s wings are stiff like they are made of carboard. But the film has CHARM, as well as some brilliant, iconic performances that cannot ever be topped or duplicated.
EVER.
Note to McFarlane: Watch Rob Zombie crash and burn in a few weeks before you start on this. Maybe that will cause you to rethink this career-ending idea.
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8 Responses to “The Spawn of Oz”
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This has to be a joke. I can’t bevieve any movie studio would think this is a good idea and allow this to happen, it will be a huge disaster.
Todd McFarlane needs to be hung in a corn field in Kansas and forced to eat out Liza Minelli, while Mickey Carrol (only living munchkin) bites his toes.
Is eating out Liza Minelli a BAD thing? Let’s ask David Gest.
Look at his face. I think her cooch melted it. That’s a very bad thing.
If he would have just stuck to eating her cooch, he’d have survived unscathed; she would have been too drunk to feel anything anyway.
Unfortunately he decided to yodel “Cabaret” into her canyon, and she came on him - and that shit is more powerful than hydrochloric acid.
LOL! Gest…Minelli. Gross.
This is just an on-going theme fellas. I have little doubt that this will actually come to fruition, much like Sam does while watching Rick Ankiel at the plate…Spirt!
I just don’t understand how they could be given a green light to touch this masterpiece. SUCK IT Warner Brothers!
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A book you may want to be aware of — just out
Harry has gone — but Dorothy returns
Burbank, Calif. — Oct. 2, 2007 — Alpimar Books announces the publication of Halloween in Oz: Dorothy Returns — BOOK ONE of its series of stories set in a magical world that readers have heard of, but know so little about, the Land of Oz. With 553 pages, the book is written in the fuller style of twentieth-first century fantasy, yet keeping the spirit of, and remaining in the era of, L. Frank Baum’s classic: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, published in 1900.
Those who miss Harry Potter and grieve for Hermione will welcome Dorothy Gale back. And Dorothy is as feisty as Hermione ever was. Some of the boys at school in rural Kansas call her a spitfire when they tease her about her tale of Oz. But Dorothy is right. Oz was not simply a dream, as portrayed in the famous movie, but a real place — as it was for Baum. And in Halloween in Oz, it is revealed that the Land of Oz is part of a larger alternate Earth, a world called Alpimar — where magic reigns, not science and technology.
It’s a few months after the tornado, and Dorothy wants to return to Oz for many reasons: to prove to herself that Oz does exist, to escape for a while the boredom of 1900 Kansas where only boys are expected to do so many things, and to find an old tintype that she lost there — the only picture she had of her deceased parents. Then, finally, the ghostly voices of her parents in a Halloween-night dream summon her back.
Dorothy discovers that the opportunity for evil witchcraft is at its peak during the Ozian Halloween — which lasts for a “witch-week” of thirteen days! She finds old friends, like Scarecrow, Tin-man, Lion, the Munchkins, and new friends, like a mysterious boy with purple hair, a flight of bats, and her Kansas pumpkin-head magically brought to life. These join Dorothy and Toto in what becomes a battle to save Oz.
Web site — http://www.halloweeninoz.com
That Halloween in Oz book
It’s kinda darker than the other Oz books,
but this is halloween