Subscriptions
RSS
Halloween - The IM Discussion
Eric and I discussed our reactions to Rob Zombie’s Halloween. Take a gander, if you dare.
Ray: Alright Eric … overall, what did you think about the new Rob Zombie “Halloween” remake?
Eric: Over all. Complete shit. I am a fan of Rob Zombie and I love the Halloween franchise. The original Halloween being my favorite movie of all time.
Ray: ugh … how can you be a fan of Rob Zombie, seriously??
Eric: That said I didn’t want this to be remade, but I was open to it because Zombie claims to be a fan of Horror and I love the character of Michael Myers. What I found out is that Zombie knows nothing about the character and is just trying to but his white trash background in any movie he can.
Ray: As for me, I am not a fan of Rob Zombie’s movies. I think he shows an amateurish tendency to try and shock an audience pointlessly, and I think his dialogue rivals Lucas’ for worst ever.
Ray: But I am like you … I love the original “Halloween” … it’s one of my favorite films of all time.
Eric: Yes, he is very amateurish but he’s a new filmaker so that doesn’t bother me
Ray: Well, fine … but then he shouldn’t be touching a film like this without learning how to properly make films!!
Eric: Agreed.
Eric: The movie lost me in the first few minutes and it never did anything to get my attention after that.
Ray: But anyway … where do you think this film first goes wrong?
Eric: The opening.
Eric: The family is white trash hoosiers and he wants you to feel sorry for Michael.
Ray: I thought the opening five to ten minutes of this film were the worst kind of garbage I have seen in a film in the last several years
Eric: That’s for sure.
Eric: There was nothing but pointless profanity and bad acting.
Eric: The word FUCK was said about 738 times in this movie.
Eric: and it always seemed forced and over the top.
Ray: EXACTLY!! Ray: Michael Myers’ adopted father in this film is such an over-the-top stereotype - and all the pointless cussing!! - that the flick just totally lost me
Eric: Right, In the original Michael comes from a normal middle class family and he just snaps, because he’s the FUCKING BOOGEYMAN.
Eric: This movie he comes from a white trash family with an abusive step-father, stripper mom and whore sister, but he does love his baby sister.
Eric: He wants you to feel sorry for him and you want the family dead.
Ray: Well, and that’s another thing - Myers himself. Zombie seems to want to have it both ways … he wants to humanize Myers by giving him a story and turning him into a regular lunatic, but then he makes Myers 9 feet tall with superhuman strength and the ability to withstand several rounds of bullets pumped into him … and then, Loomis calls him the boogeyman!! You can’t have it both ways, Zombie!!
Eric: Right! Is he the Boogeyman or not? Don’t try to make both side happy. Make a fucking decision, he claims to be filling in the holes, yet all he’s doing is creating more.
Ray: It’s just sloppily handled on both sides … this is basically two separate films smashed together without any apparent thought.
Eric: The stuff at the school was completely unnecessary and all he learn from that is that is that Michael can brutally kill people, but only when he has a mask on.
Ray: What school?
Eric: when he was a kid
Ray: Oh
Eric: fighting in the bathroom and killing the kid in the woods. They never even pick back up on that. I guess the kid was never found.
Eric: Pointless.
Eric: Lets just see Michael brutally kill a kid because it’s gory
Eric: They draw out the first half to show you how he is sick and disturbed from all the abuse that he gets, yet all it made me do is want to go to sleep.
Eric: The back story really is no story at all.
Eric: Just a series of over the top events.
Ray: The film left me with this huge question about Zombie - Does he actually know ANYBODY who is as over-the-top as the people in his films?? I mean, the bully at the school is some sort of super-bully without one redeeming quality, Myers’ family are completely anti-social hoosiers, and the kids that surround Laurie Strode are totally unlikable. Hell, even Loomis is a parasite capitalizing on Myers.
Eric: Exactly. Why create a movie about the boogeyman and make everybody around him unimportant, forgettable and hated?
Ray: Yup.
Eric: It does nothing for the mystique of Myers.
Eric: My favorite part was when he finally got out of the hospital.
Ray: Why did you like that so much?
Eric: The now 9 foot tall Myers, doesn’t need a car to get hundreds of miles.
Eric: He just runs really fucking fast.
Ray: Well, he can’t fit into a car
Ray: I suppose he could just tear off the top of the car
Eric: Zombie always hated that he drove the car. So he just let it out and give no explanation for how he gets all the way to Haddonfield.
Eric: LOL
Ray: Yeah, and he’s able to track Laurie instantly upon his arrival
Eric: Then he know exactly where to go and who he’s looking for.
Eric: Right.
Eric: He hasn’t seen her since she was two and now she has a new name.
Eric: The last part was so rushed, because of the badly paced for unnecessary part of the movie that I guess he just ran out of time for that part of the story.
Ray: In this movie he is Michael Myers: P.I.
Eric: Lol
Eric: I also like that as a kid, after killing his family. He went into the basement, tore the floor apart, buried his knife and mask, then reconstructed the floor.
Eric: Then, 20 years later, goes right were it is and rips the floor up to get it.
Ray: It’s also convenient how the house sat there, decrepit in a nice neighborhood, for FIFTEEN YEARS … I guess just waiting for Michael to come back?
Eric: Well nobody want to live in the BOOGEYMAN’S house.
Ray: uh huh .. sure
Eric: And what was up with the nudity?
Ray: I was grateful for that
Eric: just could it have been anymore over the top and pointless? He couldn’t even do that right.
Ray: While I was watching it, I actually felt embarrassed for those topless actresses. I was thinking, “After all these years, there are still actresses out there who think that they will become famous and important for taking their clothes off.”
Eric: well we barely even seen their faces. Nobody knows it was them. Just extented shots of their tits.
Ray: I didn’t even care about their tits, frankly. I hated their characters so much that even their shapely tits did nothing for me. It’s like that really annoying hot chick at a party - you don’t want to fuck her, you just want her to go away.
Eric: HA HA
Eric: What did you think of the acting? How did Sherri Moon Zombie do?
Ray: The acting was pretty much horrible all around, except for the two kids that Laurie babysat … and I thought that Compton chick did alright as Laurie, even though she had little to do other than show up and get stalked, Sherri Moon Zombie AWFUL!! There were moments when I thought she was reading from cue cards that she had just been shown
Eric: yeah the story is just as much about Laurie in the original, yet we don’t even get mush of her character in his.
Ray: But Sherri Moon Zombie knows how to pole dance. Great.
Eric: lol Yeah I think that’s how he met her.
Ray: And that’s where she needs to stay
Eric: And why does he need to use the same actors in every movie?
Ray: Favors, I guess. I think it’s distracting
Eric: Maybe nobody want to be associated with him on this movie.
Ray: the audience we saw it with were obviously fans of Zombie’s first two movies, and every time one of Zombie’s “actors” showed up onscreen, the audience would gasp and giggle.
Eric: One big controversy was the music, what were your thoughts on that?
Ray: Well, the “Love Hurts” segment of the film is so absolutely ludicrous, that I thought it was a joke of some kind … the audience was laughing at it - and this shit is supposed to be SCARY!!
Ray: The Rush song playing over the beating of the guy in the stall was okay.
Eric: that was Tyler Mane favorite scene.
Ray: Well, it was one of the most effective moments in the film, and it’s solely due to Tyler Mane’s brutal strength. Seeing an uncut shot of Mane just going crazy beating on that guy in the stall is a natural adrenaline rush
Eric: I didn’t think that the origainal theme was used enough.
Eric: It set the pace in the original.
Eric: In this one it was just a cue that somebody was going to be killed.
Ray: Yeah, it was used only a couple of times in this film, and at odd moments. Like it came on when young Myers was following his sister down the hall, and it made the audience laugh because it was out of place
Eric: Yeah he totally fuck it on the music.
Eric: How about this: Loomis dies and ANNIE lives??
Ray: Well, did Loomis die? I mean, in two scenes it showed that his crushed-in eyeballs could magically heal themselves
Eric: LOL, true maybe he managed to survive. We never really did see him die.
Ray: So much of this film is so deeply flawed. The psychology of the film - truly the one added thing that Zombie was trying to accomplish - makes literally no sense at all
Eric: Yeah it was just a waste of time.
Ray: for instance- why did Myers keep Annie alive and in the basement of the old Myers house?
Eric: Right. He had every chance to kill her but he lets her live.
Eric: I think it was just so that was could book at her bloody tits for a really long time. That’s just so sexy.
Ray: Maybe.
Eric: So lets see. Horrid dialog, terrible acting, bad pacing, shitty cinematography and suspense. Was there anything good about this movie? Oh, and no suspense.
Ray: Well, I didn’t think the cinematography was that bad
Eric: I did.
Eric: Most of the kill scenes was just jerking camera shots.
Ray: Well, that part was bad
Eric: It was real fucking annoying.
Ray: And they put in some shaking when they showed Myers with the mask on, as if his mere presence was causing some sort of electrical interference
Eric: Note to Zombie. Next time no matter how much he begs, Don’t let Michael J. Fox be a camera man.
Ray: LOL
Ray: So … what would you give this film out of ten?
Eric: 0
Ray: Yeah, me too.
Eric: He did the one thing I didn’t think was possible. He made Michael Myers completly irreverent. He wasn’t scary, or even creepy, he wasn’t funny, and he wasn’t really very cool. I could have given a shit less when he was on the scene
Eric: And the ending was complete shit.
Eric: Again, Michael can run really fast. What the fuck was that?
Ray: Yeah, I agree. Zombie was playing off of the myths created by the first movie, instead of making a new version … although I must say I didn’t really want a new version anyway
Eric: Overall I think that the only people that will like this movie are the people that think Saw and Hostel are horror movies.
Eric: Just dumb fucking teenagers
Eric: and the Alex dude from First Showing that loves Starship Troopers.
Ray: Basically, kids who only saw Halloween on television at two in the afternoon and never really got into it
Eric: Bottom line is if you like this, I hate you.
Ray: Lemme ask you this - what did you think about the audience reaction to it?
Eric: It was weird.
Eric: Some people really seemed to like it.
Eric: But there was no reaction to the end.
Ray: Well, the ending truly sucks
Eric: Most people just got up confused with a dumb look on their face and left. I think most people were truly disappointed.
Ray: The only time the audience didn’t seem to be laughing at the movie was the part where Laurie and the kids run into that upstairs room and Michael comes after them. They seemed genuinely scared by that
Eric: The dumbass black people in the crowd seem to laugh everytime the kids were running and screaming
Ray: Yeah, but I think Zombie cut it in such a way that those scenes came off as funny rather than unsettling
Eric: Evey single thing that was supposed to be scary, you could see coming from a mile away… even the new stuff.
Ray: Yeah … remember after the first attack, and the kids go running across the street screaming for Loomis to help them? I thought that scene came off funny, and several in the audience were laughing … but I don’t think Zombie meant for it to be funny
Eric: No, I’m sure he thought it was terrifying.
Ray: LOL but it definitely wasn’t
Eric: I bet he makes another one, maybe John Carpenter will kill him first.
Ray: Here’s a question - Bottom line, should people go and see this film?
Eric: No not at all. There is nothing good about this film. I love horror movie even the worst one and this was not good. I almost fell asleep. I would say rent it, if you think you have to see it. Just be warned to it FUCKING BAD.
Eric: This movie is worse than Halloween 3. At least that movie had a story line that made since.
Eric: Was is your final comment on the movie?
Ray: Well, I feel bad that Rob Zombie suckered me into seeing it, but I had to - I just had to see for myself what he tried to do to such a perfect film. I think people should see it, if for no other reason than to fully comprehend what a hack Zombie is.
Ray: But I hate that it’s making money
Ray: Bottom line for me is that it’s the worst film I have seen in at least a year.
Eric: I agree.
Ray: Go fuck yourself, Rob Zombie!!
Eric: ONE OF THE WORST FILMS I HAVE EVER SEEN.
Eric: Yeah, Fuck yourself with a bloody knife.
Ray: Amen, brother.
Last 5 posts by Ray
- Why STAR TREK Fails - November 17th, 2008
- Useless Tube - November 17th, 2008
- Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dicker - November 14th, 2008
- What The Deficit Means To You - November 13th, 2008
- Stealing Movies - November 12th, 2008
Comments
17 Responses to “Halloween - The IM Discussion”
Leave a Reply
I hate the fact that this movie was re-made. Zombie had no right to touch this. I certainly will never see it unless it just happens to be on tv one day, my legs are both broken, and i can’t find the remote.
Hilarious review fellas.
That was a great review Eric and Ray, I have only seen the original one time, and I thought it was a pretty good movie, then after seeing the previews for the remake it looked like it could be a really B.A. movie. When anyone remakes a movie you are taking a risk especailly when its a movie like this that a lot of people love, like you eric. Rob Zombie fucked up aparently because you guys really hate this movie. All in all I will wait till it is put out on dvd instead of going to the theater. thanks guys for your convincing.
Thanks guys … I can uderstand why the curiosity factor would draw people to see the film - I know that’s what happened with Eric and myself - but it is really no joke or misunderstanding - this movie is absolutely awful.
My shit could have remade this film better than Zombie. Of course, my shit would have had enough sense to say no to such a project in the first place.
Thanks guys. This movie is so bad that it’s almost too hard to put into words, yet I could go on and on about how had it was at the same time.
Don’t waste you time with this. Rent it if you must see it. The movie made enough movie now lets just let it go away. Rob has enough money for that new trailer so I sure he’s proud of this shit.
You jackasses contributed to this film by buying tickets. Alas, I must contribute also because I want to bag on it and before I can do that, I have to see the turd myself.
Look Piper, I already feel bad enough about it as it is. Don’t punish us any further with your nasty name-calling LOL
Hey, the way I look at it is that Ray and Eric wasted their money on ‘the turd’ as you called it (lol) so we didnt have to. Thanks guys lol
worst movie in a year?
wow…
you guys obviously didn’t see “Darwin Awards” or “The Ex” or the other crappy movies that have come out.
Crap…you mean that YOU’ve seen!
I’m an idiot. I didn’t read the sentence right.
Great post
@ Sir Jorge - Thanks, this movie really really really sucks. I have never ever heard of “Darwin Awards” or “The Ex”.
You nerds don’t know shite from shine. Just one point, we don’t know that it was Michael’s family life that made him psycho. Perhaps he just was regardless of his upbringing. He has been killing animals and taking photos since who knows when. The white trash family simply makes for more interesting characters then some boring middle class twits. You missed the point with this movie. It was not supposed to have anything to do with the original. Anything was possible for the characters and story line. This was not a great movie, it was also not too half assed bad. If you just sat back and watched instead of picking at it like you pick the corn out of your shit you may have a different view. I would never see any movie based on your recommendation since you have no idea about basic vision. You suck worse then you say this movie sucks.
@ Dr. Dope - Thanks for your opinion. You probably think that “Hostle” is scary to.
I didn’t miss the point. Zombie went back and forth the entire movie. At some points the original meant nothing and at other times he referenced it. You can’t have it both ways.
This movie sucked and that’s my opinion, as a fan of the original and of Rob Zombie.
If you liked it good for you. I’m sure Rob Zombie will created another piece of shit for you to enjoy.
@ DR. Dope - Catchy name. Next time, stay off of it.
If it was not supposed to have anything to do with the original, then why call it “Halloween?” Why have a character named Laurie Strode? Why have a character named Michael Myers as a killer with a William Shatner mask?
Oh yeah … because name recognition sells tickets!! Zombie ain’t nothin’ but a worthless sellout.
Despite being a huge fan of the original, I tried to sit back and let this movie succeed. Unfortunately, it failed even worse than I feared. The audience LAUGHED at supposedly scary parts of this film … mostly because the tone is all wrong. One minute you have comical, hoosiery yokels … and then you have a serial killer stalking young girls. It’s just a mess.
If you don’t want to listen to our opinion, then fine. Enjoy watching a bunch of shitty movies, buddy.
I love when people come onto the site, and give over the top opinions about us. Cracks me up. “You suck worse than you say this movie sucks.” LOL
Zombie had no right to touch this classic movie. Ray said it all: “The audience LAUGHED at supposedly scary parts of the film.”
If you’re going to give an opinion about a movie, put forth a little effort. Don’t stick your chest out and bark. Especially when you don’t have anything worthwhile to contribute.
Of course I was baked when I saw this movie. Who would go see this straight? I had a good time and that’s the point. I think anyone should have the “right” to reimage a story. How many time has a Shakespeare play be retold? Not that Carpenter is Shakespeare mind you. It seems like it is a huge trend to remake horror movies as of late. NONE have been as good as the original. What do you guys think is a good horror movie? I was looking at your site to see if you have a list of your best loved horrors. FYI I have never scene “Hostel” but if you think it is crap perhaps it’s no too half assed bad.
@ Dope - We had a list like that before the site crashed and was redesigned in July. We like the obvious ones -
Halloween (original)
Alien
The Exorcist
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original)
The Evil Dead
The Shining
Night of the Living Dead (original)
The Thing (Carpenter remake)
And some not as obvious ones, like:
Nosferatu
Cabinet of Caligari
Carnival of Souls
Horror movies are more Eric’s deal than mine. All I know is that I consider Carpenter’s “Halloween” to be a near-perfect example of the horror genre, and it is therefore untouchable. BUT IF IT MUST BE DONE, then you don’t do it anything like Zombie’s version, which was atrocious.
@ Dr. Dope - Ray’s list is good, but I would add the following.
The Amityville Horror (Original)
The Omen (Original)
Rosemary’s Baby
Children Of The Corn
It
House on Haunted Hill (Original)
The Changling
The Creature From the Black Lagoon
Friday the 13th
Nightmare on Elm Street
Misery
The Blair Witch Project
Dawn of the Dead (Remake)
When a Stranger Calls (Original)
When a Stranger Calls Back
That’s some of my favorites. I love horror movies so I probably missed some, but that’s a start.
[...] you remember, Eric and I had this to say about Zombie’s cinematic cunt [...]