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Star Trek Chokes It
Endless, breathless announcements have clogged movie websites in recent days regarding J.J. Abrams’ reboot of the Star Trek franchise; in fact, Obsessed With Film had no fewer than three consecutive stories on the project today.
All of this bluster for something so completely and thoroughly dead.
The announcement in Slash Film that Paramount has given Abrams over $150 million dollars to make one Star Trek film was probably enough bizarre news for one day.
Unfortunately, Paramount was just get started with their stupidity.
Then they decided to cast this guy as Sulu:
Yep, that’s KOREAN actor John Cho - from the comedy Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle- starring as JAPANESE ship navigator Sulu.
But the unintentional hilarity continued with their next casting announcement:
Comedian Simon Pegg… as Scotty???
Is this a joke? Is Abrams trying to make a comedy?
I have resisted writing much about this upcoming Star Trek film because I have little or no interest in it. The original series and The Next Generation were fine shows, but I always felt that the show never lived up to its potential.
Even worse were the films. With the exception of Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan and First Contact, the movies were uniformly abysmal and fanboy-ish. Outside of these two, none of the films actually utilized or epitomized what cinema can do, offering instead an enlarged version of a television show. The declining box office receipts for the films, as well as the low ratings for the various television incarnations, demonstrate a profound lack of interest in this franchise.
Now Paramount is betting an enormous stack of chips on the mysterious nostalgia factor, and hoping beyond hope that Abrams can bring some of his hipster magic to the project.
BAD NEWS: It ain’t gonna happen.
Matt at Obsessed With Film thinks that Abrams needs to pull in Matt Damon to star as Captain Kirk. I say it doesn’t matter, and could, in fact, be a detriment. I know if I was watching Abrams’ Star Trekmovie and Damon shows up in that outfit, I won’t be thinking anything other than, “Gee, look at Matt Damon as Kirk. This looks like a Saturday Night Live skit.” This isn’t helped by the fact that Pegg, who is one of those inherently funny, Will Ferrell-esque actors, will be rolling a Scottish burr from the engine room as Scotty.
This is a monumental mistake on the part of everyone involved. I’m thinking that this will turn into Abrams’ Heaven’s Gate (have you heard the name Michael Cimino lately??), and it will deal a serious financial blow to Paramount. And let’s not forget the shame that this project will bring on everyone who makes it or sees it … this franchise has seen better days, and its entire mythology has been so exhaustively explored that any movie or show with the name Star Trek only elicits shrugs and blank stares.
Mark my words, kids - This will be the biggest flop of 2008.
Last 5 posts by Ray
- Why STAR TREK Fails - November 17th, 2008
- Useless Tube - November 17th, 2008
- Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dicker - November 14th, 2008
- What The Deficit Means To You - November 13th, 2008
- Stealing Movies - November 12th, 2008
Comments
3 Responses to “Star Trek Chokes It”
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Well said, Ray. It’s really hard to take this stuff seriously - and why should we if the filmmakers aren’t?
You’ve been shoved into my “From the brains of the bloggers” spot at the top of my site. Congrats.
If your trying to make a legitimate Star Trek film you don’t cast the guy from Harold and Kumar.
This whole idea is a waste of time and I am tired of hearing about it.
Star Trek dweebs are almost as bad as Star Wars geeks.
Then what kind of movie do you want to make? I guess you just like those chick movies or those them stupid war movies that show how stupid humankind could be. better yet, just watch CNN if you like serious stuff.
Let me ask you a question then, while you go and criticizing a half done movie, Can you do a better one if you were given a script? Give it the benefit of the doubt. I admit, the first few ‘Star trek’ movies were badly written but I appreciate every one of it since I like “sci-fi” movies. I doesnt make me a “Geek” if I watch those kind of movies. Terminator is a sci-fi so was predator. If you want a douse of reality check here goes, All the adopted asian movies that america did STINKS. Did you like that?
So, dont go and criticizing movies when you yourself can’t cut it. Or better yet, if you dont like it, don’t watch it and keep your comments to yourself.
Thanks