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Hitman - A Review
I bit the bullet, and spent $6 to go see the film adaptation for the highly praised video game, Hitman.
Was it as bad as everyone thought it was going to be?
Sort of.
Watching Hitman was much like playing the video game. There was a start, a finish, and a lot of killing people in-between. If you are looking for any substance whatsoever in a film, run away from this. But, if you want to see trained assassin, Timothy Olyphant randomly killing off bad guys, while winning the heart of the unimaginably gorgeous, and nude, Olga Kurylenko, spend the $6 bucks.
Basically, Olyphant’s nameless character, whose number is 47, is betrayed by those who hire him as an assassin. He gets pissed off, goes after them, and ends up attached to Kurylenko’s horny and naked Nika Boronina throughout the pursuit. And that’s pretty much it. Some parts of the movie were pretty entertaining. Remember, this is a video game to movie screen deal, so there wasn’t much to expect. Of course, I probably would have hated the movie had it not been for this:
Muy delicioso!
I give this movie 2 1/2 stars out of 5. Olyphant is both hilarious and sinister, the gun fighting is pretty intense, and Kurylenko is just, well…WOW. I need to learn how to speak Russian.
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3 Responses to “Hitman - A Review”
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You actually paid to see this. Dumbass!
You always complain about never having any money. Just remember that $6 can buy you a lot of tacos at Taco Bell, and the resulting shit would be more satisfying than this movie.
@ Ray: I never COMPLAIN about having no money. Why don’t you calm your ass down.
@ Eric: Yesah, it’s not something I’m exactly proud of.