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Parenting 101
The parents of the Earth today received terrible news when it was announced that Lynne Spears’ new parenting book is being postponed indefinitely.
Fortunately, some of the best advice contained within its thoughtfully-arranged pages has been passed on to us here at The Rec Show. Gaze upon these wondrous and wildly beneficial thought nuggets:
- Get your children into show business at the earliest possible age. The entertainment industry in Hollywood is well known as a competent and viable surrogate parent. Any kids raised in the Hollywood machinery have gone on to become amazing human beings (see Dana Plato and Danny Bonaduce).
- Position the children in careers that not only enhance their status, but also benefit the entertainment industry as a whole. Lord knows that Lynne’s children have given back a wealth of talent and insight in their respective fields.
Just think about the positive effects Britney has had on MUSIC:
Or that sister Jamie Lynn Spears has had on TELEVISION:
- Make sure your kids like to fuck. Britney had two kids at an early age, although she managed to be married prior to getting pregnant. However, recent news indicates that her little sister Jamie Lynn has been impregnated at the ripe old age of 16 … by guy who is 19. Certainly a role model for all young girls.
- Encourage psychotic behavior. While Jamie Lynn has yet to exhibit signs of Spears-related dementia, Britney has shown enough to cause the normally-unbeatable Michael Jackson to blush enviously. Can anybody ever forget this indelible 2007 image??
What are some snippets of advice you hope to find in Lynne Spears’ parenting tome??
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3 Responses to “Parenting 101”
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What a messed up family. The idea that the mother felt she had any kind of advice (even before the pregnancy news) is a joke of the worst kind. He book should be one big apology for raising two shitty kids.
Hey, Jamie Lynn just needed to get laid, alright. Geez, she’s only human. It’s not like she MEANT to get knocked up. Besides, sixteen isn’t that young anyway. These girls know what they’re doing, so why don’t you freaking get with modern times. Sixteen is the new 20!
And as far as Britney goes, since when did it become a crime to drive a car with a baby and/or a bottle of Jack Daniels in your lap?. Lay off already.
Awesome video of Jamie Lynn. That girl is going places. Just think about how cool all of her friends on the show will take for next season when she’s the only one that gets to have morning sickness. Totally freakin’ rad!
I think my parents must have been failures.