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Weekend Whack Off
Since the weekends are slow on media news and shenanigans, it’s sometimes helpful to look around and see that the rest of the world is just as screwed up as those in Hollywood.
You could look at this collection of reality misfits and wonder if (A) There is a God, and, if so, then (B) why are they so damn dumb? I look at animals sometimes and feel envious of their obliviousness; they make shitting in the woods look positively civilized by comparison to the upright creatures in these clips.
First up is an old bitch stuck in a ditch. They should have left her there.
Then comes a classic about a fat dumbass who almost falls out of a theme park ride. I love the hideous cackle of his unconcerned ride-mate Janis; it’s as if life itself is laughing at his misfortune. Janis doesn’t care one iota that he is about to die, and frankly, neither do we:
And finally, John Lehr nearly dies from asphyxiation during a live taping after pretending to to choke on a sandwich. Ironically, the dumbass was promoting a show about life and death before his stunt went awry. They should put a wig on him and star him in the Mama Cass Story:
So why did we ever leave the trees??
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Fat Ass - “Janis I’m Falling”
Janis - “hahahahahaha”
Fat Ass - “Janis I’m going to die”.
Janis - “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Fat Ass - “Help Me Janis”
Janis - “No hahahahahahaha, your chins will save you HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Oh, and how did the fat bitch get in the ditch anyway and why didn’t they just dig her out. Dumb fucking white trash.