Beached On Jersey Shore
Filed under: Corporate Evil, Editorial, Media Report, Public Humiliation, Television, Worst of the Worst
As the inexplicably hot hit series The Hills cools down, MTV has found itself in the difficult position of replacing it with something new that will build buzz for the increasingly-irrelevant station.
So they came up with the idea of gathering together a collection of the dumbest human beings still able to walk and breathe at the same time … and then base a “reality show” around them. The catch this time: they’re all Italian. Wow.
The show, called Jersey Shore, premiered last week to some of the most scathing reviews ever. Yet every nasty word said about this atrocity is perfectly deserved.
The show follows six vapid, self-absorbed “guidos” and “guidettes” as they fake tan, pluck their copious eyebrows, and flex in front of the mirror. I suppose the appeal of the show is supposed to be our admiration for their looks and bodies, which are nice, of course. But then they open their mouths, and you quickly realize that these are probably the most worthless creatures ever produced by the haphazard natural selection of human sexuality. I’ve left ejaculate in tube socks that had more emotional depth and concern for others. If I happened to be related to any of them, I would kill them with a blunt instrument in front of MTV’s cameras as a gift to popular culture and the preservation of the human race.
Here is a clip that assembles the MTV promos for each non-entity:
