Corporate Evil

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Falling Down On Her Face

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

The new music video and debut single for the song Falling Down by actress Scarlett Johansson has been released.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbfFsm2MRes

That’s right she’s now a singer and is releasing an album, Anywhere I lay my head. The video’s stupid, to me it seems as if she’s complaining about being a famous actress. If she doesn’t want to be a [...]

Let’s Remake Everything!!!

Friday, March 28th, 2008

Hey Hollywood! Here’s a great idea: LET’S REMAKE EVERYTHING! Every single piece of material ever produced on film or on television needs to be remade.
What about classics, you ask? FUCK IT!! We’ll remake CITIZEN KANE with Jonah Hill as Charles Foster Kane and Michael Cera as his “wacky” sidekick Jedediah Leland! We’ll not only improve [...]

Get LOST, BOYS!!

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

Most creatures in this world serve some sort of purpose. Some are truly inspirational (like dolphins, or Ghandi), some are ingenious (like spiders, or Madonna), and some even unite others due to their own pure wickedness (like Hitler, or Rosie O’Donnell). Hell, even the lowly maggot serves a noble purpose in the glorious chain of [...]

It Ain’t Cool

Sunday, February 17th, 2008

Everyone knows that Harry Knowles, the so-called “head geek” over at Ain’t It Cool News, is a media conglomerate-sucking whore of epic proportions. Harry would eat out his dead grandmother’s cold, gray asshole if he thought there was a dime just inside her rectum.
But this article decrying the death of HD-DVD is just too much [...]

Busting The Closet Door Down

Monday, January 14th, 2008

Tomorrow is the day in the U.S. that the unauthorized Tom Cruise biography is being released, and Tom is pissed. In fact he feels like a straight man being pulled out of a closet with leather chaps on and cum dripping from his mouth.

60 Minutes To Long

Sunday, January 13th, 2008

Why is Andy Rooney still alive? He’s like a cockroach, he’ll never go away.

Orwell Got The Date Wrong

Sunday, January 6th, 2008

In recent months, Republican candidate Ron Paul has been derided in the mainstream media for his attacks against “neocons” and their agenda to create a North American Union and remove the civil liberties and protections once enjoyed by Americans. His ideas have been consistently portrayed as the rantings of the lunatic fringe.
Does he sound like a [...]

Celine Dion Is Fucking Crazy

Thursday, January 3rd, 2008

I fucking hate Celine Dion. I think it’s safe to say that I’m not the only one that feels this way. Everything she does pisses me off, and for the life of me I can’t understand why people like her. Can somebody please tell me why she’s so popular?

The Power Of Lucas

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

Eleven Seconds after midnight on January 1, 2008, George Lucas’ power in the universe got a little stronger. The impact of Star Wars has never been as disturbing as this.

Beat The Press

Sunday, December 23rd, 2007

Republican Presidential candidate Ron Paul stepped into the real political arena this morning as he submitted to a furious grilling by Tim Russert on Meet The Press.
Russert, armed with a handful of neo-con spin questions, did the bidding of his Big Media masters and attempted to assassinate Paul’s political chances. To some degree, Russert succeeded.

If Ron Paul Can’t Get Air Time, His Supporters Will

Saturday, December 22nd, 2007

If Fox, CNN and MSNBC won’t give Ron Paul air time. his supporters will take it from other candidates. This past week, Rudy “911″ Guiliani visited St. Louis. The local Fox affiliate send a reporter out to the site of his speech, presumably to get fan reaction. What they got, was something else.

Drinking With Sharks

Friday, November 30th, 2007

No, Tony … I’m afraid you had more than two. But that’s okay, buddy; I’ve done the same thing myself.
The last two days have seen the unconscionable release of the police tape of St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa’s drunk driving arrest last March during spring training in Florida. The video is absolutely jaw-dropping, with the Cardinals [...]

Master Debate

Thursday, November 29th, 2007

Terrible. Just embarrassing. The only person who told the truth during the YouTube Republican debates in Florida last night wasn’t allowed to speak - unless he had to defend himself against pitiful attacks.

Side-Show Paul

Wednesday, November 28th, 2007

Ah, CNN. They love telling people what to do. Sure, the following article doesn’t directly come out and tell you who to vote for. It does, however, tell you who NOT to vote for; the guy with the least amount of media attention…

Lines Destroy An Empire

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

KC and I had a little drunken fun compiling a list of the Top Ten Lines That Doomed The Star Wars Prequels. So many things conspired to destroy the infinite possibilities of the prequels, but George Lucas’ dialogue remains the common denominator among the horrid prequels.
Try to master your own destiny with this compilation [...]

Jonas And The Whale Of Boy Music

Monday, November 19th, 2007

The American Music Awards delivered yet another awards show highlighting the reasons why American music sucks. Anyone searching for the reason why people steal music off the internet - thereby destroying the record companies - need only to watch the AMA’s for one gruelling minute to discover the answer.
Fergie performed Fergalicious. Avril Lavigne performed Hot. Maroon [...]

Insanity!

Friday, November 16th, 2007

“Dad, can we go see Hanna Montana in concert. Please, please, please, I’ll do anything.”
“Do you promise not to tell anyone that I was hiding in the closet with my pants around my ankles at your last slumber party.”
“Okay, I promise.”
“Good. Then we can go.”

Kiss Off

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

Let’s start with one basic law: KISS has always been about making money. Their “music” almost uniformly sucked cadaver balls, but two of their chanting, simple songs caught on enough to sell some records. They charged out the wazoo for live show tickets in the seventies, which people gladly paid in order to spend [...]

How Does This Shit Keep Happening

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

What the hell is wrong with people. The world must be coming to an end soon. Can somebody please explain this to me.

Destruction Of Politics Will Be Televised

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

We all remember the “Dean Scream” from the 2004 Democratic convention. We also remember the “Swift-boat” scandal of the 2004 Presidential race. We may also be old enough to remember the cruel jokes and marginalization of a jug-eared independent nominee in 1992.
All of these and more have something in common. Each person involved - Howard Dean, John Kerry, and [...]