SNL Presidents Try To Save Obama

Okay, now this is just fucking awesome. Funny Or Die has released a short (directed by Ron Howard!) that features all of actors who have portrayed Presidents on Saturday Night Live over the years. There’s Will Ferrell as George W. Bush, Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton, Dana Carvey (oh, how I’ve missed you!) as George Bush, Jim Carrey as Ronald Reagan, Dan Ackroyd as Jimmy Carter, and Chevy Chase as Gerald Ford. Amazing.

Dana Carvey and Jim Carrey win the battle as far as I’m concerned. Carvey in particular is hilarious. Hammond shines with his few seconds of dialogue; I always loved his Clinton (it would have been great to see Jan Hooks show up as Hillary …). Ackroyd does a good job with Carter, although it’s fairly boring (and he’s too damned fat). Chase is horrible as usual as Ford, easily the worst impression in SNL history. I’m surprised he didn’t break a hip falling on that table.

Anyway, here’s the skit. It’s just awesome:

OK GO Keeps Music Videos Alive

There is almost no reason for a band to make a music video these days. MTV is dead, which is now some sort of reality show whore factory. The music industry itself has collapsed, with only Lady Gaga selling any albums anymore thanks to actually having some talent and vision. And really … who watches music videos anymore?

I would, if they were all like the brilliant new video from OK GO. You might remember the band from their awesome treadmill video from a few years ago. They’re back with a jaw-dropping video that recalls the wonderful Mouse Trap game, full of exotic, triggered contraptions. This might be the most creative video I’ve seen in a very long time. I sincerely hope it was done in one take without any computer graphics.

I just wish the music was better. They’re talented, but the songs aren’t particularly catchy, which is a major reason why the band hasn’t really gone anywhere despite some inventive and amazing visuals.

Check it out:

Tim Burton Sucks

… And this brilliant video proves it. Watch immediately (click on Tim’s picture for more!)

Fight The Power!

Most people hate WalMart for all the wrong reasons. Some complain about the low wages for their employees, while others complain about the destruction of small business. Of course, people are actually just jealous that WalMart does such a good job at exploiting the benefits of capitalism.

And, in the case of this guy, he’s had more than enough of WalMart’s cheap prices, messy aisles, and smelly customers. So he took a baseball bat from sporting goods and began publicly demonstrating his rage in the electronics section. Check out the carnage:

Awesome!

PHANTOM MENACE – The Ultimate Review

We all realize that there is something really, really wrong with Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, but it’s been hard to articulate. Usually we just end up saying that the movie “sucks” or “Jar Jar sucks” or “George Lucas raped my childhood.” You know, something insightful like that.

But someone has finally taken the time to sit down and tear apart the massive flaws in logic and storytelling that exist in the movie. In fact, there are quite a few that you never grasped in all of the time you watched the film. Even better, the guy is a character in his own right, and this massive 90 minute review is pretty damn funny.

Pink Grammy Perfection

I have no idea why so many people (mostly guys) dislike Pink. At first, she came off like just another pop princess with a husky, throaty voice. But in the last few years, Pink has defined herself as one of the premiere singer songwriters of her generation.

But thanks to last night’s perfect and gorgeous performance at the Grammys, I think it’s safe to say that Pink is now one of the most amazing performers ever.

The song she sang, Glitter In The Air, is a beautiful love song all by itself. Pink took to the stage wearing almost nothing, and then left the stage suspended only in a delicate strip of cloth for an amazing display of aerial acrobatics that left me stunned. She has always been very athletic, but I’m shocked that anyone allowed her to even try this on live television. And it worked to perfection, just like everything this remarkable woman attempts. Awesome.

Gaga Does Rocket Man

The Grammys are always a mess, usually getting it wrong and boring the fuck out of viewers everywhere. But the wise inclusion of Lady Gaga – the most important musical artist in several years – helped amp up the excitement just a little.

Not only did Gaga deservedly win a couple of awards, but she also put on a wild stage show with Elton John that stopped the show. Elton hasn’t been relevant in twenty five years, but tonight, he was the king. Check out the amazement:

Even More Aching Beauty

When I wrote up this top ten list of the most beautiful people in motion picture history, I didn’t expect such a varied reaction. I guess it really boils down to the fact that everyone has their own standards of beauty, and it’s fun to argue about those differences.

For me, ten spots isn’t enough, though. So I wanted to write about ten more people that are just too damned good looking for words. So here are their pictures, in no particular order:

Angelina Jolie

Denzel Washington

Zhang Ziyi

Ryan Phillippe

Andie MacDowell

Tom Cruise

Anne Archer

Robert Redford

Michelle Yeoh

Heath Ledger

Hit Girl Kicks Ass

My most anticipated film of 2010 is the superhero action/comedy Kick Ass. The film revolves around a group of ordinary people who don superhero costumes and fight crime without any actual powers.

Well, except one. Little Chloe Moretz plays Hit Girl, a ten year old with lethal killing capabilities. This brand new red banded trailer displays Hit Girl in all of her glory, and she’s amazing; look for her to be the breakout character of the coming year. If the film matches the tone of the perfect trailer, then director Matthew Vaughn has a humongous hit on his hands.

Flight of the Conchords Crashes

One of the most brilliant shows to ever grace television, The Flight of the Conchords, has been cancelled after only two tiny little seasons. We first covered it way back in August of 2007, just after it premiered, which you can revisit here.

The show was probably too eclectic for most people, actually. In a faintly meta concept, the show revolved around two New Zealand singers named Bret Mackenzie and Jermaine Clement who perform under the name Flgiht of the Conchords – which is exactly the truth. Every week followed the boys as they struggled with girl problems and career problems, which then segued into amazing song/fantasy numbers.

Just watch this in amazement:

These guys are comedic geniuses who will be sorely missed. I’m not holding my breath for the rumored Conchords movie, either.

Is Keanu Reeves Immortal?

The guy never seems to age. He also feels wiser, more at peace than other people.

Now we might finally know why:

BRILLIANT!

Paranormal Activity – Scariest Film Of The Decade

The last twenty years in horror films have been pretty awful. The scares have been so anemic that most people would select THE RING or SAW as the scariest movies of recent times. However, these films and their imitators miss the most basic element of the truly great horror masterpieces – implied horror. That is the type of horror that creeps into your subconscious and drags out repressed memories and forgotten fears.

But never fear (or perhaps DO fear …), because PARANORMAL ACTIVITY is now teaching a class in tension building at theaters across America.

 

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The Wild Things Are On Video!

With a big screen adaptation of WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE looming on this week’s theatrical release horizon, I thought it might be good to revisit the original story by Maurice Sendak.

The story, just a few sentences long, conveys so much wonder and tension. The illustrations are, in a word, art. I hope director Spike Jonze can recreate the atmosphere of this magical little book.

Here it is in video form, narrated wonderfully by John Kelin.

Sex With Dave

Last night on The Late Show, David Letterman revealed to a live audience that he has had sex with members of his staff. Earlier this month someone tried to blackmail Letterman for $2,000,000 in order to maybe keep the information quiet. Letterman made his announcement in typical sarcastic Letterman fashion.

Jackass

This is what Barack Obama, President of the United States of America thinks of Kanye West.

Spritz Your Smelly Ass

Ya know, I’ve been around enough to see some crazy fads. I’ve seen the Pet Rock, the Flobee, and Ronco GLS hair spray. The common denominator to all of these products is a crazy idea to sell crazy ideas to the public …. and make a lot of money off of them.

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The Top Ten Most Achingly Beautiful People In Motion Picture History

You want to know why there aren’t too many ugly people working in front of the cameras in Hollywood? Because we are forced to see ugly and disgusting people very single day when we go to Wal Mart, stop at a fast food restaurant, or pass in front of a mirror. When we go to the movies, we want to see and identify ourselves with beautiful people and exciting adventures; it ruins the fun if the hero has a bald spot bigger than yours.

And while there are many attractive people in Hollywood, some are too incredibly beautiful to believe. It’s as if God crafted them from a separate pile of dirt than the rest of us … the bastards.

So here is my list of the top ten most beautiful women and men of Hollywood:

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Obama Is Better Than America

President Obama must be starting to believe all of those Messianic comments made about him. He thinks he’s just too damned cool for school. Check out this video funny news segment about Obama’s recent trip to Denny’s, right in America’s heartland:

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Michael Jackson Admits The Truth

Since Michael Jackson died, people have been asking the million dollar question: “Did he molest those young boys who slept over at Neverland?” Back in 1993, Michael Jackson admitted molesting young boys on national television, so why are people still questioning it? Here is the proof:

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Hottest Michael Jackson Video Ever?

As we fall away from the shocking and sudden death of Michael Jackson, we start to reminisce about various aspects of his talent and legacy.

One of the curious things about Jackson was his sexuality. At one time, he was considered the sexiest singer on the planet, which is hard to remember after years of freakish plastic surgeries. There certainly weren’t too many women lining up to be humped by the Zombie Michael we all knew and feared from the last decade. But his videos were, for the most part, much more reflective of the man himself – asexual, puerile, childish, and extravagant. Only in a few videos did Michael dabble with sexual themes or adult situations.

So I ask – which Michael Jackson video do you think is the hottest or sexiest video he ever made?

Here are your choices:

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