What’s the only thing worse than an actor with musical aspirations? A pretentious arty-farty actor with musical aspirations.
Ryan Gosling, one of the better young actors of his generation, likes to also occasionally play music. So he has this band on the side called Dead Man’s Bones. The band has approximately 257 members. They like to dress up in “meaningful” costumes and pose deliberately in order to make statements. Here is a group photo:
Dead Man's Bones ... now with 10% more ART!
You can just see these guys living in a loft somewhere, their hemp backpacks slung over their shoulders, sipping herbal green tea while they shuffle around in their Birkenstocks, can’t you? So artsy!
When not posing and/or discussing the meaning of their art, they go out and actually perform live. As you might imagine, it’s a “creative” affair, filled with pointless dance moves and lots of cheap junk positioned as art. You keep waiting for a Beat poet to show up and recite something. Here’s a video of a recent performance of their song Pa Pa Power (horrible title, by the way, but so meaningful!):
Stone Temple Pilots are back out on tour and Scott Weiland is supposed to be clean. I say supposed, because I don’t think Scott Weiland has been clean for years. In fact, if I was playing in a death pool, he’d be the one I would want.
The tour itself is expected to be successful. STP have a very dedicated fan base and they want to see the guys get their shit together and succeed. There are also the people who like the music, but are only going to see what sort of trainwreck it will be.
The people at the band Cincinnati show this week, got a glimpse of the train beginning to jump the tracks. As the band performed “Crackerman”, Weiland fell off the stage. He just walked right off the stage, like he didn’t know the edge was there. The interesting thing here is that he didn’t miss a beat vocally, despite the fact that he appeared to hit his face on something on the way down. That leads to the question, is Scott Weiland singing at all? Is he lip synching to a vocal track, because he’s to fucked up to sing and remember the words.
The band sounds great there and I hope they cash in on this tour, because Scott’s not going to be able to do many more.
We’ve probably all looked at the front of a car and thought, “That kinda looks vaguely like a face.” But we probably never looked at it and thought, “This car needs some eyelashes.”
But someone did, and now they’re trying to earn a few Pet Rock-like bucks selling Carlashes. For only $24.95, you can stick these dumbass eyelashes around your headlights and drive around town like a clown. And for $19.95 more, you can add “crystal eyeliner” over the top of it for that extra DAZZLE!
Aren’t we in some sort of recession? Do people really have the disposable income to waste on shit like this?
Even though I do like some of Lady Gaga’s music, her ascension underscores what’s wrong with American music – it’s far too often driven by looks, camp, and visual style. Can’t sing or play an instrument? WHO CARES! Just have an interesting look!
Even though America’s Got Talent is supposed to be searching for the next big star, the show has been taken over by some deranged freak who calls himself Prince Poppycock. Granted, the guy has a pretty nice, operatic voice when he actually sings. But, as it is made painfully clear in this video, the guy’s look and the camp aspects of his performance vastly overmatch his vocals.
Sharon Osbourne is completely wrong about this “guy” being the next superstar. NO WAY. What kind of music can this guy produce that doesn’t come across like a made-up Tiny Tim?? He might have a fine future haunting gay bathhouses, but a pop superstar on the order of Lady Gaga? It will never, ever happen.
Add this guy to the list of guys probably getting laid more often than I do.
Frankly, I’d rather go without sex permanently than dress up like a fucking dog, strolling out in public and barking like an idiot. That’s exactly what Pittsburgh moron Gary Matthews has been doing for most of the 44 years he’s lived on this planet.
Unsurprisingly, Matthews is unemployed, giving him ample time to hike his leg on sanity. Hey Gary, go play in traffic, would ya?
