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Better Off Dead?
I am alive. Well mostly, part of me dies every day that I have to go into work and lube up my asshole so The Man can have another go at me. I usually come home stinking of sweaty balls and ticked off because some old rich bitch made me wipe her shoes off after she stepped on my dignity. All the same I am still alive and I earn my measly paycheck. Now imagine rotting in the ground and making a million times more for doing nothing more than taking up perfectly good space that could be better served as a park or a grocery store.
Today Forbes put out their richest dead celebrity list, and number 1 is a no brainer. Here are the top 10 and what they made in the last year. Read more
Metallica Play Garbage
It looks like I have yet another answer to look for in The Encyclopedia Of Metallica. I need an answer to this question. What the hell were they thinking covering Rare Earth and Garbage at the Bridge School Benefit?
Why Does This Wand Smell Like Ass?
In the world of Harry Potter much is sacred, but apparently not the sexuality of one of the series most beloved characters. According to author J.K. Rowling Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore was a huge fudge packer.
I am currently reading the series and am only about half way through the fourth book so I may sound a bit naive in saying this, but is it really necessary to come out with this now? What’s the point? Is it to please fans that theorized it for a while? Is it to gain more headlines for the just completed series? Or is it to cash in on more books about Dumbledore’s past?
Either way I am not sure that this is the best example of a lasting memory for old Albus. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. But if he was gay why not be a bit more obvious about it from the start? Sure, you may want to hide from the young readers in the beginning, but if there is in fact nothing wrong with it, then what’s the big deal? It seems simple, be gay or don’t. Don’t try to be gay because it seems to be the “in” thing to do. That seems to be what Rowling is doing here.
Rowling did not have comment on whether Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, is also a fudge packer. But it sure sounds like it.
Thanks Yahoo.
Boys Beware!!! The Homosexuals Are Going To Get You
In the 1950’s, people were very sexually repressed and extremely homophobic. People thought that being gay was a mental illness and they didn’t want their kids anywhere near homosexuals.
The Blow Job Patrol
Remember the days when the police are supposed to be here to serve and protect us. Now it seems that you can trust less and less of them. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing but respect for the police officers in this country who actually do thier job and do it with dignity and respect.
The problem is for every ten good cops, their is one bad one. One that is just completly fucking stupid and he is the one that gets the attention of the media. Tennessee Highway Patrol trooper James Randy Moss, is the perfect example of a stupid fucking cop that gives the profession a bad name.
PETA’s New Jackass
The newest no talent reality star face of PETA is the always naked Jackass star Steve-O.
Andy Samberg: Killer Of SNL
American institution Saturday Night Live has spawned some of the greatest comedic talents in media history - Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd, pre-Golden Child Eddie Murphy, Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Phil Hartman, and Adam Sandler.
Hell, I might even throw Charles Rocket into that mix before I would ever consider the talent-free cast currently calling themselves “Not Ready For Prime-Time” players.
Have you seen some of the bullshit passed off as comedy on the fabled show lately??
Queen Clay
On November 11, a tribute to the legendary rock band QUEEN will be released. The album, entitled “Rock n’ Royalty: A Very Special Tribute To Queen” would be a great oppertunity to bring some of rocks biggest bands/singers in to pay tribute to the band. Queen’s back catalog of music paired with some of music’s best bands could be an amazing album. Their is one slight problem though.
Catchy!
The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
I’m bored before the I ever get to the ticket window. If it takes more time to read the title of the film than to see it, it’s probably not a good sign.
Remember when film’s used to be titled Platoon, Goodfellas, Toy Story? Easy to remember easy to say, and you knew exactly what you were getting into before you bought your ticket. A title can be very important to the marketing of a film, and I don’t understand the recent obsession with these super long and over descriptive titles. Read more
Dumb Idea # 12,569
I admit I am a sucker for a clever commercial and the Geico.com auto insurance ads do tickle my fancy. Read more
Who’s Missing From The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame?
With the most recent Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees being announced. I realized that a lot of great artist have been getting the snub. So, I ask you who deserves to go in? Here are some of my choices.
Oops, Busted Again
Less than one week after Britney Spears was ordered by a judge to stop drinking, that picture was taken.
A View From Space
Come back, Rosie. And bring back Meredith and Star Jones, too. Hell, we might even give Debbie Matenopoulos another shot.
The recently revamped lineup of The View gave us a sneak preview of the scintillating, brain-melting conversations that will bend the time/space coordinates of morning talk shows. It’s hard to believe that this conversation took place.
New hostess Sherri Shepherd decided to try and take Rosie’s brand of ratings-baiting controversy to a whole new level of Twilight Zone weirdness. What she said on today’s show wouldn’t be any stranger if Rod Serling dug himself up from his grave, pulled his rotting pants down, and recited this out of his pee-hole.
More Money Than Cents
I really pisses me off when a no talent, annoying ass rapper is making more money a year than most people will ever see in their lifetime. Fiddy Cent is a perfect example. This bastard should be working at a gas station or flipping burgers. He should be lucky to have 50 cents in his goddamned pocket.
MTV Films Has Lost Its Fucking Mind
Can a two minute viral short support a ninety minute feature length film?
Of course not. Saturday Night Live has proven that again and again with horrible, never-watched adaptions of some of their most popular skits. Remember It’s Pat: The Movie? How about the Stuart Smalley movie? And refresh my memory … how many people actually went and saw A Night At The Roxbury in theaters??
The answers to the preceding questions are either “no” or “none.” Yet, despite the horrible track record of such projects, MTV Films - that bastion of bandwagon-jumping - has forged ahead with a film version of a viral video on YouTube.
No, I’m not kidding.
Doogie Loses Another
I smell gay discrimination.
The Emmys came and went as they always do - unnoticed - except for a few surprises peppered throughout the ceremony. Most industry observers gasped in shock as James Spader ran away with the Best Actor Emmy over heavily-favored James Gandolfini.
To me, the most surprising snub of the night was given to Neil Patrick Harris, who was not chosen as Best Supporting Actor for his work in How I Met Your Mother. His Barney is easily the best new character on television, and the main reason that show remains a hit. Instead, they gave the statue to Jeremy Piven yet again in a move akin to a blind man pointing to his own cock on command.
Harris’ performance on the show typifies this actor’s raw talent for subtly transforming himself into completely different personalities, all while retaining his inherent likableness. Check out some of the best scenes from this past season starring the true Emmy winner in this category:
Everyone Gets A Star
The Hollywood Walk Of Fame undoubtedly has a lot of truly famous and worthy names on it. Some of these people absolutely had an impact on the motion picture, music, and television industries over the last century.
But then there is a star for Soupy Sales, and the whole thing goes to pot.
Is the Walk of Fame simply a collection of famous faces, or is it designed to honor people who truly made an impact in entertainment? I mean, Ann B. Davis - Alice on The Brady Bunch - has a star on it, and she hasn’t done anything in her career except waddle around in that damned blue outfit for four Brady-licious seasons.
The reason I’m asking is because a new star was doled out over the weekend, and I am confused over its merit.
