Crack Is Whack, Yo
Filed under: Concert Reviews, Karmic Justice, Media Report, Music, Public Humiliation, WOW, Worst of the Worst
I’ve ranted before about Whitney Houston’s unacceptable destruction of her wondrous voice. But this is just tragic.
Over the weekend Whitney “performed” in Brisbane, Australia. From all reports, Whitney only managed to cough out a few hits before surrendering the microphone to almost anyone capable of carrying a tune. This is not, of course, what her fans are paying $100 a ticket to see. They are also not paying to see a woman hack and wheeze her way through three songs while sipping on water, but that’s what those poor Australians got last weekend.
Whitney gasped her way through her greatest song, “I Will Always Love You,” pausing for several minutes while she sipped on a glass of water. Refreshed, Whitney attempted to hit the high notes of the finale, only to sound like a homeless whore getting throat-fucked by Marlon Wayans. She laughed about her miscue, probably because she didn’t pay half of a year’s salary to be there.
What Whitney has done to her incredible voice is simply unacceptable. Even less acceptable is the idea that she should tour the world and collect money for vocal performances that would embarass Britney Spears. Whitney seriously needs to go home, apply Vicks Vaporub, drink plenty of water, and do some yoga. Most of all, she needs to stop acting like her foolish life choices have not destroyed one of the greatest human gifts seen in over one hundred years.
Crack is whack, yo. Watch the video for confirmation:
Paul McCartney: Cheap Ass
Filed under: Dumb Ideas, Editorial, Good Grief, Karmic Justice, Media Report, Music, Public Humiliation, Worst of the Worst
What’s the deal with Paul McCartney? The guy is one of the wealthiest musicians of all time, with a fortune estimated in the hundreds of millions even after Heather Mills hopped away with some of it. He can just about buy anything he wants. Well, except for a hit, of course.
NBC: No-Brained Cowards
Filed under: Karmic Justice, Media Report, Television, Who Gives a Shit
The Jay Leno / Conan O’Brien nonsense has shifted into a phase of ridiculousness usually reserved for bullshit like the entire George Bush regime.
First, NBC decided that they wanted to remove Jay Leno from The Tonight Show – fine, the guy sucks. Then, they decided they wanted to replace him with Conan O’Brien, whose offbeat sense of humor was something of a gamble for the type of audience typically associated with the show. Then, to appease Leno, NBC decided to give him an earlier time slot to do basically the same show.
Unfortunately, Leno is about as funny as an audio recording of an abortion. And the sixty year olds watching O’Brien didn’t care too much for the youngster’s sense of humor. So, with NBC bleeding money, the network has decided to give Conan the boot and give Leno his old job back. This would cost the network millions of dollars for reneging on the two contracts.
Meanwhile, every day that this situation remains unresolved, network affiliates lose millions of dollars in advertising money thanks to the removal of CSI to make room for Leno. What a fiasco. A recent L.A. Times article said that this nonsense has probably cost NBC $200 million dollars. Several former somebody’s are going to lose their high-rolling jobs for sure when this is finished.
The late night titans involved are having a lot of fun with this, and why not … they stand to make a ton of money off of this fiasco. Here is Conan riffing on the debacle:
Demi Moore PhotoCHOPPED
Filed under: Good Grief, Hmmmmm, Karmic Justice, Media Report, Media Weirdness, Miscellaneous Awesomeness, Public Humiliation, WOW, Worst of the Worst
Everybody knows that everybody in entertainment endures a certain amount of “sweetening.” They have makeup people giving them attractive skin tones, they have lighting people assuring them of flawless, wrinkle-free skin, and they have Photoshop artists who clean up the imperfections during photo shoots.
Usually this process happens invisibly, giving the illusion of perfection and providing unrealistic beauty goals for the rest of the unwashed masses. But every so often, the curtain slips aside and we see the process in all of its ugly, naked glory. Take, for example, this lovely new cover photo of Demi Moore for the magazine W.
She looks great, doesn’t she? Of course, there’s one small problem – her left hip has been partially amputated in a sloppy Photoshop job. Check out the closeup:
I’ll bet there’s a Photoshop artist currently looking for employment.
Punching Paparazzi
Filed under: Funny, Good Grief, Karmic Justice, Media Report, Public Humiliation, WOW
It seems that every so often a celebrity attacks a member of the paparazzi when they stray to close or their camera becomes a bit too obtrusive. In the past we’ve seen Leonardo DiCaprio and Sean Penn do it. And this week brought yet another, more obscure name to the club: James Gandolfini.
The Sopranos actor was strolling around with his family when they realized their movements were being snapped by a photographer … and James went mobster on his ass. The whole thing was caught on tape for our enjoyment:
Jackass
Filed under: Funny, Greatest Of All Time, Karmic Justice, Miscellaneous Awesomeness, Perfection, WOW
This is what Barack Obama, President of the United States of America thinks of Kanye West.
Karma’s A Bitch
Filed under: Freaks, Funny, Good Grief, Internet Stupidity, Karmic Justice, Media Report, Media Weirdness, Miscellaneous Awesomeness, Music, Perfection, Who Gives a Shit, Worst of the Worst
The Frankenberry of gossip – Perez Hilton – has been claiming today that he was attacked Sunday night by the entourage of Will.I.Am of The Black Eyed Peas.
Not to be insensitive, but that rude, snivelling faggot had it coming.
Joaquin Off The Stage
Filed under: Dumb Ideas, Freaks, Funny, Good Grief, Karmic Justice, Public Humiliation, WOW
A few months ago Joaquin Phoenix announced his retirement from acting to work on a music career. I figured he would form a rock band or maybe even try it as a country singer after his role as Johnny Cash, but neither is the case. He is actually trying to make it as a rapper. Sounds like a bad idea, right. Well watch him leave the stage after a recent performance.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7F_Ikksg40U[/youtube]
If you want another laugh, watch the performance of the song that preceded that.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LieYeCudbQ8[/youtube]
Rod Blagstupidbitch
Filed under: Dumb Ideas, Good Grief, Hypocrisy and Lies, Karmic Justice, Live Performances, Public Humiliation, Television, The Z List, Worst of the Worst
Last night, Impeached Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was on The David Letterman Show. Some people never learn. If you are a dumbass, famous for being a dumbass, or both you might want to rethink going on Letterman. He doesn’t pull any punches and gives them shit the whole interview. The best thing is that he is so good with his insults that they usually don’t even realize it. Note to all the famous dumbasses going on Letterman. He will make you look stupider that you already looked.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3NXq49b2K8[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hgig3BBmbXA[/youtube]
Stealing Satriani
Filed under: Corporate Evil, Dumb Ideas, Editorial, Freaks, Good Grief, Hypocrisy and Lies, Karmic Justice, Music, Music Discussion, Public Humiliation, Worst of the Worst
Coldplay are one of the worlds biggest and in my mind overrated bands. They are also arrogant pompous assholes who act as if they revolutionized music. I don’t think anything about the band is revolutionary and now we know that they are not very original. Just ask rock guitarist Joe Satriani.
The guitarist has taken issue with the band Coldplay for their Grammy nominated song “Viva La Vida.” Satriani has filed a copyright infringement law suit claiming the band stole the song from him and are claiming it as their own original song. Satriani feels the song which is up for record and song of the year at this years Grammy awards, steals from his 2004 song “If I Could Fly.” He says for him, hearing the Coldplay song hurt like a dagger through his heart. Take a listen and see what you think.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ofFw9DKu_I[/youtube]
Coldplay and their arrogant assbag singer Chris Martin believe otherwise. Martin doesn’t understand the lawsuit saying, “If there are any similarities between our two pieces of music, they are entirely coincidental, and just as surprising to us as to him.” This is nothing new. Artist steal from other artist all the time, but it’s usually not so obvious. The problem hear lies with the overwhelming arrogance of Martin. The song is clearly a rip off and how he can deny it is amazing.
This band plays pussy soft rock and yet have been dubbed the greatest current rock band in the world by critics. Martin needs to grow some balls, become a man and admit he ripped of Satriani. Fuck, just say it’s a cool song and I and thought my wussy-bitch-like lyrics would sound cool with it. I doubt Satriani would have cared if they used it, if they would have just asked him and credited him for it. I hope every dime that Coldplay have made off of that song goes to Satriani. It’s time that a real musician actually gets credit for their work.
Back To The Jungle?
Filed under: Editorial, Freaks, Good Grief, Karmic Justice, Music, Music Discussion, Public Humiliation
We have become accustom to strange things happening in the world of music. We have become even more accustom to the fact that Axl Rose is a fucktard. Axl destroyed one of the greatest rock bands in the history of music with his huge ego and now he maybe having a change of heart.
First Axl kicking everybody out of the band and replacing them with friends to record a new album. After the album was recorded Axl disappeared to his cave in the mountains for a few years and put the release of the album on hold. A few years later he kicked his friends out of the band and replaced them with a man that wears a KFC bucket on his head and even better friends and rerecorded the album, only to postpone it again. Alx again wasn’t happy with the songs and disappeared into his cave.
Years later, after being unheard of for years, Axl and his new band performed as part of the MTV video music awards. The performance was terrible and the fat, dreadlock sporting Rose was completely off key the entire performance. Still people got excited and couldn’t wait for the new album, but again Axl postponed the release.
Fast forward to the end of 2008. After years of hiding out, eating, delaying and getting bitch slapped by Tommy Hilfiger. Axl finally released Chinese Democracy. The album was sure to be huge. Everybody’s been waiting 15 years for new music from Axl. After that long it’s got to be perfect.
There was one problem though. The songs sucked and people were not excited, they were annoyed and pissed off. It took Axl over 15 years to come up with this shit, that’s just unexeptible. If that’s the best he could come up with it may be time to wonder off to his cave and braid his hair for the rest of his life, or until he eats himself to death.
However, the album did manage to sell 261,000 copies and debut at #3 on the Billboard charts behind Kanye west and Taylor Swift. Which is great because Axl was so sure that the thing would be a huge hit that he disappeared again. The record label wanted him to help promote the new album, but they were unable to reach him for weeks. Who can blame him? He didn’t want to sit around and answer questions about that Goddamn Slash. He’s a geniuos and just released a great album. That’s what people need to be talking about.
Now, the UK newspaper The Daily Telegraph is reporting that Axl wants to reunite the original group. That sounds great, but will they still have that same magic they had 20 years ago. I think they should all just finally move on. Slash and Izzy should just tell Axl to kiss their ass, but are both unemployed so the reunion is bound to happen. Maybe after all this time, Axl has finally realized that he is irrelevant and without Slash he’s nothing. So just maybe one day soon we will be seeing this again.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHB_j4KYQKA[/youtube]
Roman’s Candle
Filed under: Editorial, Karmic Justice, Media Report, Movies, Public Humiliation, Worst of the Worst
ROMAN POLANSKI, one of the world’s most celebrated directors and most wanted pedophiles, filed a motion in the Los Angeles County Superior court to have his 31 year old statuatory rape charges dismissed. His lawyers claim that a new documentary entitled ROMAN POLANSKI: WANTED AND DESIRED clears their client due to some “shocking evidence” in the film that allegedly exposes misconduct on the part of the Los Angeles police department.
Nevermind, of course, that Polanski fucked a thirteen year old girl. Or that he has spent the following three decades hiding in foreign lands to evade punishment for his crime. As always, let’s blame the police.
McCain Not Able
Filed under: Good Grief, Karmic Justice, Worst of the Worst
Uh oh … looks like McCain’s nasty little comment about Obama being “that one” is blowing up in his face. Buttons are being pressed even as I type. To make matters worse, he lost the debate by a landslide.
It’s probably time for McCain to call Obama a nigger in another one of his classy, classy ads.
Busting The Closet Door Down
Filed under: Corporate Evil, Editorial, Freaks, Karmic Justice, Media Report, Media Weirdness, Public Humiliation, Rumor Control
Tomorrow is the day in the U.S. that the unauthorized Tom Cruise biography is being released, and Tom is pissed. In fact he feels like a straight man being pulled out of a closet with leather chaps on and cum dripping from his mouth.
Tummy Tuck = $4,000, Breast Reduction = $3,000, Life = Priceless
Filed under: Editorial, Freaks, Karmic Justice, Media Report, Music, RIP
Over the weekend, Dr. Donda West, the mother of rapper Kanye West died. Donda used to work as her son’s manager and earlier this year, she released a book called Raising Kanye about the rapper’s childhood and her experiences as his manager.
At first the cause of death was unknown, but it appears that we now know how she died.
Britney Loses The Kids
Filed under: Freaks, Karmic Justice, Media Report, Miscellaneous Awesomeness, Music, Pleas To Hollywood, Public Humiliation, Who Gives a Shit, Worst of the Worst
First Britney Spears lost her panties, then her hair, then her mind, then her career and now she has lost the kids. Read more
The One Corey
Filed under: Karmic Justice, Media Weirdness, Movies, Public Humiliation
Poor Corey Haim. No matter what the guy tries to do, life seems to reject him. Apparently going from adorable little kid to puffy-faced drug addict makes you a questionable commodity in Hollywood.
Unfortunately, more bad news has hit our favorite self-delusional child star.
Congratulations Chris!
Filed under: Greatest Of All Time, Karmic Justice, Media Report, Miscellaneous Awesomeness, Music, Perfection, Public Humiliation, The Cutting Edge
An early congratulations to our good friend, and brilliant co-creator of The Rec Show, Christopher Daniel. Chris, I love you buddy (mostly sexually), and I’m sure that the night of your honeymoon will be exactly as the following video!…
Douche-Bag Fighting – Michael Vick Vs. ?
Filed under: Freaks, Karmic Justice, Media Report, Media Weirdness, Music, Public Humiliation, The Z List, Who Gives a Shit, Worst of the Worst
I think I have the perfect idea for Michael Vick … and it’s not prison. I say we have a douche-bag fight; it’s like dog fighting, where only one comes out alive. His opponent ……
Giant Robots Celebrate!
The best news we could ever imagine has arrived. It is a literal miracle… Read more