What The Deficit Means To You
Filed under: Good Grief, Letters To The Void, Media Report, Movies, RIP, Worst of the Worst
Lovely news today … the budget deficit this coming year will reach 1 trillion dollars.
In short, we’re fucked.
The only hope for mankind is a Roland Emmerich-style disaster that will put us out of our misery quickly and painlessly. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like it’s coming anytime soon:
Moralistically Fucked
Filed under: Editorial, Hypocrisy and Lies, Letters To The Void, Public Humiliation, Worst of the Worst
I really can’t wait for this Presidential election to be over. Everywhere you look it’s one negative ad after another, one ridiculous lie after another and an overly annoying desperation out of the McCain camp. This however isn’t even what I’m most tired of.
What pisses me off the most about this election are the countless ignorant, racist, assholes who are supporting McCain. Before I piss every McCain supporter off, I’m not saying all of you are ignorant, racist assholes. Just most of you. When I see people on TV saying they support McCain or when I talk to people I know their main reason for supporting him are because of his morals and patriotism. Then they usually follow that up with “I can’t vote for no nigger”, “He’s a Muslim” or “He don’t even salute the flag”.
These are comments from people who are going to vote for somebody based on morals. Where are their morals? What about lying? Is that a good moral standard? McCain has accused Obama of everything except raping and impregnating Palin’s daughter. I guess lying is OK as long as you’re pro-life. McCain has also spent half of his campaign calling Obama names. The only thing he hasn’t called him is a spear chucking nigger and Black Hitler.
He spent this past week calling Obama a Socialist. When asked by Larry King last night, ” You don’t believe Barack Obama is a socialist do you?”
MCCAIN: “No, but i do believe that he has been in the far left of American politics and stated time after time that he believes in spreading the wealth around. He has talked about courts that redistribute the wealth. He has a record of voting against tax cuts. And for tax increases.”
This though, is apparently OK with the great moral coalition that backs McCain.
McCain’s high moral supporters have also been running around bullying everyone they can. Numerous Obama signs have been stolen from yards. It has happened in my white middle class neighborhood on many occasions. They have also been very aggressive and verbally attacking Obama supporters at campaign rallies.
This week as a McCain rally in Florida ended, two Cuban-American Obama supporters were surrounded by an angry mob of McCain supporters. The mob started screaming ‘Terrorist!’ ‘Communist!’ ‘Socialist!’” at the men and one man even threatened to kill one of the men. Another threatened to beat the men up. This is ridiculous and thoroughly disgusting. This is 2008 and the racism and hatred being displayed is unbelievable.
These people claim to be setting the moral standard in this country and they won’t vote for a man simply based on the color of his skin. What do they think he will be playing basketball in the White House or maybe him and a bunch or Aborigines with rings around their neck will be cookin’ up some chitterlings in the front yard while smoking a blunt. This country is Fucked if McCain becomes President. Not because of McCain, but because of these assholes who will continue to tear this country apart with their racist views. I mean their high standards and morals.
Joaquin Phoenix Retires
Filed under: Dumb Ideas, Editorial, Funny, Good Grief, Huh?, Letters To The Void, Media Report, Media Weirdness, Movies, Public Humiliation, Who Gives a Shit, Worst of the Worst
Our favorite harelipped performer, Joaquin Phoenix, has apparently decided to retire. At a benefit for the Association of Hole In The Wall camps (a Paul Newman-inspired charity for sick children … terrible name for that organization, by the way), Phoenix mumbled to a flabbergasted E! reporter that he was retiring from movies. When the reporter (justifiably) laughs incredulously at the announcement, Phoenix gets pissed off and walks away.
Some people can be so fucking self-righteous. Who has the tighter asshole … Joaquin Phoenix or Cameron from FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF????? Man, I bet it’s hard being Joaquin’s friend in real life. Look at him wrong over drinks at a bar, and there’s going to be a crying session in the parking lot or a fist fight.
Note to Joaquin: Lighten up, dude. You’re a little too old and a little too overrated to have that “tortured artist/genius” primadonna attitude.
Why The Fuck Am I Poor And He’s Not?
Filed under: Dumb Ideas, Editorial, Freaks, Good Grief, Huh?, Letters To The Void, Music, Pleas To Hollywood, Public Humiliation, The Z List, Who Gives a Shit, Worst of the Worst
I am really getting fucking tired of being poor, with people like Tay Zonday making money. I admit, I thought Chocolate Rain was silly and funny. Hell, I walked around singing it all the time. It was a joke though. Nobody, NOBODY actually thought it was good.
The kid is a cute, lovable virgin with a deep voice. We all thought it was great that he was getting a little attention for the first time on his life and now he might even get laid. Now though, somehow he is a celebrity. He is actually making money and lots of it, just from singing that stupid fucking song. He sings it in many different ways, changes the lyrics, makes new videos and now this.
Getting Through A Pickle
Filed under: Good Grief, Letters To The Void, Live Performances, Media Report, Media Weirdness, Miscellaneous Awesomeness, Music, Public Humiliation, Television, Underrated Music
Last night’s CMA award show was full of good performances. One of the standout performances was by former American Idol contestant Kellie Pickler. She performed her single, I Wonder, which is a song she co-wrote about her estranged relationship with her mother.
Letters From the Hole – Episode 6: Return of the Juice
Filed under: Letters To The Void, Media Report, Public Humiliation, Who Gives a Shit
I’m out mutha fuckas. $125,000? Fuck dat. I’m the Juice mutha fuckas. I’ll pay $12,000 and you’ll let me out or I’ll kill some white bitches in this mutha fucka.
How the fuck do you steal your own shit? If its mine I didn’t steal it right? Fuck this bullshit. The man is out to get the fuckin Juice that’s all there is to it. I didn’t do shit so I’m out of this mutha fucka.
I gettin A.C. on the fuckin line and we gone. Mutha fucka better hit the fuckin gas this time though. And I ain’t usin’ no fuckin white Bronco neither. I’m getting me somethin’ that fuckin moves, like a white Corvette or a white Porche. Man I love white bitches.
So fuck all you all. The Juice didn’t do shit wrong. Except maybe kill some white bitch a while back. This is a fuckin set up. I’m outta this mutha fucka.
Death to white bitches,
The Juice
Wrong Place At The Wrong Time
Filed under: Editorial, Freaks, Good Grief, Hmmmmm, Hypocrisy and Lies, Letters To The Void, Media Weirdness, Movies, Pleas To Hollywood, Public Humiliation, Uncategorized
O.J. Simpson has had some terrible luck. He is a great actor, yet his acting career was short. He did a great job in Naked Gun, but he was overshadowed by Leslie Nielsen. This was the first time he ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. If he had only been in a movie with a lesser actor.
A Shot Of Tequila
Filed under: Dumb Ideas, Letters To The Void, Public Humiliation, Television, The Z List, Who Gives a Shit, Worst of the Worst
Myspace whore Tila Tequila will be the star of the next MTV reality show. Just like Flavor Flav and Bret Michaels, she is looking for love.
The Biggest Pile Of Crap Ever Put On T.V.
Filed under: Corporate Evil, Dumb Ideas, Freaks, Good Grief, Letters To The Void, Live Performances, Media Weirdness, Music, Public Humiliation, Television, The Z List, Who Gives a Shit, Worst of the Worst
MTV has been responsible for some of the worst shows ever, but now they have officially created the worst show ever.
Cry, Cry, Cry You Emo Fag Bitches
Filed under: Corporate Evil, Freaks, Letters To The Void, Media Weirdness, Miscellaneous Awesomeness, Music, Underrated Music, Worst of the Worst
I have made in no secret on the site that I FUCKING HATE fag/poser rock Emo/Goth music. Bands like My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy are the worst and most popular examples of this shitty music. They are the new form of music rebellion. All the dumb little fag posers that are trying to be cool and tough are emulating them.
They walk around the local malls with their fucking mascara on, their fingernails painted, their perfectly side swiped hair, and either their dumb little fucking tie on or their Slipknot shirt depending on whether they are more Goth or Emo at that moment. Who was the dumbass that started merging these two forms of shit music into one anyway?
Maybe I’m not the only one tired of this shit after all.
Dear Owen Wilson
Dear Owen Wilson,
I was pretty upset when I read Perez Hilton tonight and there, in among the countless stories about Andy sucking Dick and Britney Spears “news,” was a sad article about how you tried to commit suicide tonight.
You may have felt like you had some damn great reasons to try and take your own life. For instance, I can imagine that you’re still pretty pissed that your agent talked you into doing this:
King of the Hill
Filed under: Kevin Smith Whorishness, Letters To The Void, Movies
Sorry folks for my absence lately. It’s been a little tough to find time, planning a wedding and all. It will all be worth it I’m sure.
In getting together with some friends (including our very own Ray) the other night to plan the bachelor party and have a couple of drinks we got to talking, like guys always do, about t.v. and movies. Along the way a great friend of mine mentioned how he thought Spielberg was completely overrated. I thought Ray might go through the roof.
Spielberg’s talent as a storyteller is unequaled in the history of cinema. His ability as a director equals, if not surpasses, the likes of Alfred Hitchcock, John Ford and Orson Welles. This would seem obvious to most. But in giving my friend’s comments some thought I do understand his state of mind, if not his point. Read more
Old Dogs, Same Shit
Filed under: Corporate Evil, Dumb Ideas, Letters To The Void, Movies, Pleas To Hollywood
If you were a fan of “Wild Hogs”, “Guess Who”, Three Man And A Baby” or the shit stains in your underwear (who are you kidding, you know you have them). You’ll love the next Disney movie in the works. Read more
Dear Hollywood
Filed under: Corporate Evil, Letters To The Void, Movies, Television
Dear Hollywood,
Variety has posted this article about how a strike looms over Los Angeles because nobody seems to be able to get along. The writers want to strike the studios this year, and the actors and directors want to strike the studios next year, and the studios are stepping up production in order to overcome both.
And I say GOOD!!!
Letters From the Hole Episode IV: A New Hope
Filed under: Freaks, Letters To The Void, Public Humiliation
Paris,
I can’t believe it. 4 days. You got like 23. It must mean that I’m prettier than you, with my sunken in face, and flat chest, and ratty oily looking hair. Either that or suck even better dick. I still don’t know how I’m going to do this.
They told me that I can never drive with any alcohol or drugs in my system again. What the hell am I supposed to do, call a cab? Gross!
To bad our sentences didn’t coinside. We could have done the Simple Life from inside. That would have been good for the ratings, don’t you think? Speaking of the inside, I hear that they give you bread and water to eat. Oh my God, I am going to get so fat! Read more
Dear Dakota Fanning
Dear Dakota Fanning,
If only you were born a male; then you might have had some real role models. Sure, Jake Gyllenhaal dated Kirsten Dunst, but he seems like a pretty decent guy.
Instead, you’re a girl … a girl rapidly approaching that magical time when you grow an unsightly bush around your magic hole, start laying bloody eggs all over your crisp, expensive white sheets at night, and develop a desire for stuffed animals that have dicks.
And although the very same things have happened to billions of girls over time, you will be going through it in the public eye, and with much more money and opportunity than most other girls your age have at their disposal. In this confusing time, you may want to look up to women in your situation for guidance and support.