Fuck Off, Rolling Stone!!!!!

 

As Chris eluded to to in his last post, the Rolling Stone list of 100 Greatest Singers of All Time is an absolute atrocity.  The biggest problem I have with this is that Rolling Stone’s word is so highly revered.  Of Course, it’s only highly revered by those who have little to no music knowledge and those who have their asshole reamed by Rolling Stone on a constant basis.  All list are just opinion, but when your opinion is printed in the “Holy Book” of music it should come with some responsibility. 

You should actually try to but a list of the “best”, not a who’s who of artsy performers that you consider influential.  One of the most common phrases used to describe these greatest singers is “influential”.  Ozzy Osbourne was influential, shouldn’t he be on the list then.  They even tell you that one artist, Solomon Burke never had a crossover hit.  While I don’t think a big hit makes you a great singer, I do think that a great singer should have a big hit.  I mean, if your that damn good wouldn’t your songs be.  Now on to the list and my thoughts.

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Hey Rolling Stone, Stick It Up Your Ass!

Just a few comments on the newest abortion of a “best of” list by the good people at Rolling Stone. First of all, I truly do understand, as most of us do, what they are trying to accomplish by making these stupid lists; Sell more magazines. It’s capitalism at its finest. Fine, they have every right to do so. My problem comes in when they consider their own mutilated opinions as gospel. Just because this publication says it doesn’t make it so. Rolling Stone sitting high on its throne in the palace that Dylan built, does not neccesarily know what is best for its music loving subjects. True music fans shouldn’t need a magazine to tell them what’s good. Good music is felt through the ears and the heart, not the wallet.

With that out of my system on to the list. Read more

Worst President Ever?

With less than a week to go in the American Presidential race, The Times in London is running a series of articles detailing a list of Presidents, ranked worst to best. The list is culled from the choices of a large group of historians and journalists.

Their choice for worst President of all time? James Buchanan (1857-1861), who presided over the build-up to the Civil War by unwisely shoving a thumb up his ass.  Other notable fuckheads include the infamous Richard Nixon (of course) and, at only number 33 of 42, the incomparably bad George W. Bush.

For my money, the worst President in American history is Read more

Another Dumb Ass List

                   

Rob O’Connor of Yahoo recently took the time to put together the 25 Worst Hair Metal bands of all time, for his List Of The Day blog.   The great thing about list is the fact that they almost always seem to spark some sort of debate or discussion.  This list though, comes across as being written by somebody who doesn’t really know much about the subject and that makes the list come across as stupid.

The biggest problem of the list is putting Poison #1. 

 [youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=GnozlGyg4sI[/youtube]

That seems to be the safe pick, for everybody.  You mean to tell me that Poison were worse than Trixter or Slaughter or Winger?  Winger isn’t even on the list, but I’ll get to that later.  By putting Poison #1, it proves that he really knows nothing about the type of music.  Yet the average music fan listens to this opinion, because he must know what he’s talking about.  After all it’s his job to know, right? 

The next huge mistake was putting Skid Row #2. 

 [youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=5YSKIbWDqS8[/youtube]

Yes, Sebastian Bach is an arrogant egotistical jack-off, but Skid Row aren’t a hair metal band.  I know they get lumped into the category, but they shouldn’t.  It’s kind of like in the mid 90’s when every band that came out of Seattle was grunge.  Seriously, who in the hell really thought that Candlebox or the Screaming Trees were grunge.  So again to say that Skid Row is “hair metal” is wrong and to say that they were worse than Bad English, Bullet Boys or Slaughter is ridiculous.

The other problem I have with the list is the bands that were left off.  How does Winger miss making the list. 

 [youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=XZHVkJ1wVFM[/youtube]

How about Nelson, Faster Pussycat, or Kix?  These bands not only should have made the list, but they should have been way above Poison, Skid Row and Whitesnake.  I wish when people make a list they would actually put a little thought into it and not just take the easy route and throw the safe picks at the top. 

I’m sure Rob O’Connor is a knowledgeable guy, but this list would suggest otherwise.

Greatest Moments of the Year – Chris’ Picks

Guess I’ll jump in on this.  In a pretty ho-hum year their were some pretty good moments.  Besides all the Britney-Paris-Lindsay bullshit that has rained down on us like a plauge there have been a few highlights.  I, unlike Ray, do get a kick out of some of these lists but only for fun.  Don’t take them too seriously, especially mine! Read more

VH1 At It Again

In a new list, for which VH1 is becoming infamous, the one time music video outlet has brought us the top 100 songs of the 90’s.  First of all a list like this could be fun if you were to get it right, unfortunately the masterminds at VH1 always find a way to fuck this shit up.  That is not to say that they got number 1 wrong, they most certainly got it right.  But a choice so obvious is a bit anti-climactic that the focus goes on the rest of the list and that is where things go wrong.  Here’s the top ten.  Read more

Chris’ Top Five Videos

When we decided to do this I thought it would be easy to pick five videos.  It wasn’t.  On what criteria is a video the best?  Artistic importance?  Future influence?  Quality of the song itself?  I think all of these are important among other things.  So I tried to take everything into account and I know that there are some great ones that will be left off of my list.  I hope the other guys can pick up my slack there. Read more

Person Of The Year

                 

Time Magazine is getting ready to announce their Person Of The Year.  They are allowing people to vote for the winner on their website (that’s always the best way to pick a winner, fuck actual accomplishments).  It looks like the award this year will be going to go to an outstanding person, one who has change the world for the better.  A person that has done many many great things.  Currently leading the voting by more than 14,000 votes is…….    

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Better Off Dead?

I am alive.  Well mostly, part of me dies every day that I have to go into work and lube up my asshole so The Man can have another go at me.  I usually come home stinking of sweaty balls and ticked off because some old rich bitch made me wipe her shoes off after she stepped on my dignity.  All the same I am still alive and I earn my measly paycheck.  Now imagine rotting in the ground and making a million times more for doing nothing more than taking up perfectly good space that could be better served as a park or a grocery store.

Today Forbes put out their richest dead celebrity list, and number 1 is a no brainer.  Here are the top 10 and what they made in the last year. Read more

Who’s Missing From The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame?

                            

With the most recent Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees being announced.  I realized that a lot of great artist have been getting the snub.  So, I ask you who deserves to go in?  Here are some of my choices.

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Five Best Comedic Performances

Nothing is better than a terrific comedy.

Unfortunately, truly great comedy is harder than passing a yard of barbed wire through a hemorrhoidal asshole, and trying to be funny is even more painful.  The last hundred years of movies are littered with great examples of spectacular failures.

But when it’s right, it’s GREAT!

So, without further ado, I present my nominees for greatest comedic performances of all time – NOW WITH VIDEO!!

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