RSS
Loading ...Media Report
« Previous EntriesDVD: GENESIS - WHEN IN ROME 2007
Thursday, June 26th, 2008In the beginning, GENESIS started life as an art-rock installation full of bold, in-your-face ideas and snooty, experimental posturing. After the defection of resident wierdo PETER GABRIEL, the band settled into a trio with pop-chart sensibilities and a genial, balding frontman/drummer PHIL COLLINS. The eighties were kindest to the band, as they scored several huge, [...]
The Red Banded Happening
Friday, May 16th, 2008The titanic ego of M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN has cursed his every move in recent years. The blossoming promise shown in his earliest films has disintegrated before the bewildered eyes of moviegoers everywhere. The trust is broken, replaced by a palpable resentment. It’s like admiring a charismatic uncle as a young person, only to go behind [...]
Now That’s A Wild Ass
Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008
If you think that ass is wild, check out the newest wild ass to enter the world.
The Midgets Will Get You
Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
Two of my favorite things are midgets and reading the police blotter and nothing is better than having a midget in the police blotter. Check out this police blotter and scroll down to the first blotter under Rockaway. People in New Jersey are even more fucked up than I thought. I just hope it [...]
V For Vacuous
Sunday, April 13th, 2008I understand the desire … I really do. I often look back at those breezy spring evenings in the early eighties, and fondly remember everyone curling up around the television to watch the newest “event” show. I remember talking to my friends about Roots the next day on the playground, or huddling with my family [...]
Let’s Remake Everything!!!
Friday, March 28th, 2008Hey Hollywood! Here’s a great idea: LET’S REMAKE EVERYTHING! Every single piece of material ever produced on film or on television needs to be remade.
What about classics, you ask? FUCK IT!! We’ll remake CITIZEN KANE with Jonah Hill as Charles Foster Kane and Michael Cera as his “wacky” sidekick Jedediah Leland! We’ll not only improve [...]
Don’t Wanna MEET DAVE!
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008I am speechless.
I remember Eddie Murphy from the very beginning of his career. He erupted from one of the worst casts to ever assemble on the Saturday Night Live stage with a magnetic blend of charisma, wit, and nasty charm. He created indelible characters and skits during his brief run, including Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood, Gumby, [...]
Get LOST, BOYS!!
Thursday, March 13th, 2008Most creatures in this world serve some sort of purpose. Some are truly inspirational (like dolphins, or Ghandi), some are ingenious (like spiders, or Madonna), and some even unite others due to their own pure wickedness (like Hitler, or Rosie O’Donnell). Hell, even the lowly maggot serves a noble purpose in the glorious chain of [...]
Full SPEED Ahead!!
Thursday, March 13th, 2008After the Wachowski Siblings released the first trailers for their upcoming live action version of the seventies cartoon classic SPEED RACER, many movie fanboys spent far too many hours bashing the kaleidescopic visuals. Nevermind that most of these fanboys were yet to make an appearance as anything other than watery ejaculate when the cartoon was [...]
All Is Right In Hollywood
Sunday, February 24th, 2008For once, Hollywood has gotten it right.
In recent years, movie fans have crawled like hopeful lemmings to their television sets on Oscar night, only to be crushed and broken by a series of bizarre winning choices. Bloggers like Piper over at Lazy Eye Theatre have gone on and on about the many terrible choices among [...]
It Ain’t Cool
Sunday, February 17th, 2008Everyone knows that Harry Knowles, the so-called “head geek” over at Ain’t It Cool News, is a media conglomerate-sucking whore of epic proportions. Harry would eat out his dead grandmother’s cold, gray asshole if he thought there was a dime just inside her rectum.
But this article decrying the death of HD-DVD is just too much [...]
A Trailer Ahead Of The Game
Thursday, February 14th, 2008Everyone has spent the day poring over the new trailer for INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL. While I thought the trailer was a whipsmart homage to the feel-good eighties era of moviemaking, something dark and cynical rose up from my aging heart while watching it.
We’ve been through this before.
Super Tuesday?
Wednesday, February 6th, 2008The results from the massive Super Tuesday voting came trickling in overnight and into this morning. It appears that Hillary Clinton and her merry band of major defense contractors beat out Barack Obama on the Democratic side, and John McCain and his merry band of defense contractors beat out everyone else on the Republican side.
Doesn’t that [...]
Worst Half Time Performance Ever?
Monday, February 4th, 2008It’s strange. The Super Bowl has an audience of 95 million (mostly) males of various ages, and yet the organizers behind the yearly most-watched television event cannot understand what type of musical performance best fits the venue.
Case in point: yesterday’s laughable Paula Abdul “performance.”
Paranormal Activity
Thursday, January 31st, 2008Several years ago, Chris, Eric, and myself planned out a BLAIR WITCH-style film that would (supposedly) document an actual haunting/possession.
Now it’s been done. Watch the trailer for PARANORMAL ACTIVITY:
The Fuck You Song
Thursday, January 24th, 2008Jonah Hill is seriously one of the funniest comedians of the last two decades. Blessed with superb comic timing, a goofy look, and several ounces of awkward cool, Hill is rapidly becoming one of America’s new faves.
Opening February 1st is his new film, STRANGE WILDERNESS. A new clip from the film has been released which [...]
Why Heath Mattered
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008As fans everywhere mourn the untimely death of Heath Ledger, their outpouring of sadness, confusion and shock seems appropriate - yet confusing. After all, Ledger had very few films to his credit by the time he died, and most of those films were of the seldom-seen, art-house variety.
But as Nathaniel over at Film Experience mentioned today, one film - and the [...]
Heath Ledger Is Dead
Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008What the fuck is going on in Hollywood? Another top actor has died of an apparent accidental drug overdose. Which is not a surprise after his last interview.
Chris Martin Clocks The Paparazzi
Monday, January 21st, 2008The paparazzi finally messed with the wrong person and they got taken down.
The Word According To Reverend Huckabee
Sunday, January 20th, 2008The more and more that the Reverend Mike Huckabee talks, the more we get to see his real side. He made some interesting remarks recently. Do you think his words have a hidden message or are people over reacting?
« Previous Entries