Movies

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The Red Banded Happening

Friday, May 16th, 2008

The titanic ego of M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN has cursed his every move in recent years. The blossoming promise shown in his earliest films has disintegrated before the bewildered eyes of moviegoers everywhere. The trust is broken, replaced by a palpable resentment. It’s like admiring a charismatic uncle as a young person, only to go behind [...]

Falling Down On Her Face

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

The new music video and debut single for the song Falling Down by actress Scarlett Johansson has been released.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbfFsm2MRes

That’s right she’s now a singer and is releasing an album, Anywhere I lay my head. The video’s stupid, to me it seems as if she’s complaining about being a famous actress. If she doesn’t want to be a [...]

Holy Shit!!!! The House Is Shaking

Friday, April 18th, 2008

This morning as a laid peacefully in my bed, sound asleep, I was suddenly awoken to find that my house was shaking. First I though, my wife must have jumped out of bed and ran though the house. Then I realized she was still in bad and the house was moving, I didn’t know what [...]

V For Vacuous

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

I understand the desire … I really do. I often look back at those breezy spring evenings in the early eighties, and fondly remember everyone curling up around the television to watch the newest “event” show. I remember talking to my friends about Roots the next day on the playground, or huddling with my family [...]

Stop-Loss Ray’s Review

Friday, March 28th, 2008

Ugh. This is going to be a detailed review. I apologize in advance.
Let me get the politics out of the way in the opening sentence: I am an American, and completely against the American military operation in effect since September 11, 2001. In fact, I often apologize to those I meet from Europe and other [...]

Let’s Remake Everything!!!

Friday, March 28th, 2008

Hey Hollywood! Here’s a great idea: LET’S REMAKE EVERYTHING! Every single piece of material ever produced on film or on television needs to be remade.
What about classics, you ask? FUCK IT!! We’ll remake CITIZEN KANE with Jonah Hill as Charles Foster Kane and Michael Cera as his “wacky” sidekick Jedediah Leland! We’ll not only improve [...]

Don’t Wanna MEET DAVE!

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

I am speechless.
I remember Eddie Murphy from the very beginning of his career. He erupted from one of the worst casts to ever assemble on the Saturday Night Live stage with a magnetic blend of charisma, wit, and nasty charm. He created indelible characters and skits during his brief run, including Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood, Gumby, [...]

Get LOST, BOYS!!

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

Most creatures in this world serve some sort of purpose. Some are truly inspirational (like dolphins, or Ghandi), some are ingenious (like spiders, or Madonna), and some even unite others due to their own pure wickedness (like Hitler, or Rosie O’Donnell). Hell, even the lowly maggot serves a noble purpose in the glorious chain of [...]

Full SPEED Ahead!!

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

After the Wachowski Siblings released the first trailers for their upcoming live action version of the seventies cartoon classic SPEED RACER, many movie fanboys spent far too many hours bashing the kaleidescopic visuals. Nevermind that most of these fanboys were yet to make an appearance as anything other than watery ejaculate when the cartoon was [...]

All Is Right In Hollywood

Sunday, February 24th, 2008

For once, Hollywood has gotten it right.
In recent years, movie fans have crawled like hopeful lemmings to their television sets on Oscar night, only to be crushed and broken by a series of bizarre winning choices. Bloggers like Piper over at Lazy Eye Theatre have gone on and on about the many terrible choices among [...]

Odds on Favorites

Saturday, February 23rd, 2008

Tomorrow is the 80th annual Academy Award ceremonies. Unlike the last several years, this year promises to be much more exciting and competitive than previous years. If you still have to email in you picks for you office pool take a look at what the gamblers have to say about tomorrow night’s favorites.
According to 1800-sports.com (click to [...]

Can Spielberg Be Topped?

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

No, I don’t mean sexually.
Chris and I recently discussed Steven Spielberg’s extensive legacy. At one point, Chris said, “Spielberg is to movies what the Beatles are to music. You can follow in his footsteps, but you cannot top him.”
Much depends on how you rate Spielberg among the greatest directors of all time … and how [...]

Paranormal Activity

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

Several years ago, Chris, Eric, and myself planned out a BLAIR WITCH-style film that would (supposedly) document an actual haunting/possession.
Now it’s been done. Watch the trailer for PARANORMAL ACTIVITY:

The Fuck You Song

Thursday, January 24th, 2008

Jonah Hill is seriously one of the funniest comedians of the last two decades. Blessed with superb comic timing, a goofy look, and several ounces of awkward cool, Hill is rapidly becoming one of America’s new faves.
Opening February 1st is his new film, STRANGE WILDERNESS. A new clip from the film has been released which [...]

And The Nominees Are . . .

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008

With last year’s debacle of nominations, not to mention awards, could the Academy finally get it right in a year flooded with really good films?

Heath Ledger Is Dead

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008

What the fuck is going on in Hollywood? Another top actor has died of an apparent accidental drug overdose. Which is not a surprise after his last interview.

The Best Of Black Entertainment

Monday, January 21st, 2008

In honor of Martin Luther King day, I thought I would take a look at some of the best moments in the history of black entertainment.

Not So Scary Remakes

Sunday, January 20th, 2008

The horror remakes just keep coming. One will be headed to theaters and one will be straight-to-DVD. Do these trailer makes you want to see either.

Cloverfield - Ray’s Review

Friday, January 18th, 2008

The hype machine has been mercifully turned off; it’s now time to see if producer J.J. Abrams managed to pull off a first-person giant monster movie with the eagerly anticipated Cloverfield.

Cloverfield Monster Spoiled

Thursday, January 17th, 2008

Everyone has been wondering for months what the monster at the center of Cloverfield looks like.
I must give credit to Abrams and company for concealing it so well for so long. However, on the eve of the film’s nationwide premiere, a gif has emerged that reveals the monster in all of its glory.