Who Dat?

Super Bowl XLIV is over and the New Orleans Saints won an outstanding game. The commercials were even better this year than in previous years. The halftime show however, that’s a different story.

A delusional old couple pretending to be Roger Daltrey and Pete Townsend took the stage of the half time show. The two men looked more like an old couple who escaped from a nursing home and wondered on stage, than they looked the the legendary rock band The Who.

Daltrey looked like a 65 years old woman and sounded terrible.  He was missing notes and at times seemed to be forgetting the lyrics. It’s a good thing that they performed songs with repeating lyrics. Pete Townsend looked even more ridiculous with his doo-rag underneath his hat and jumping around like around like a retarded monkey.  At least he was able to to the big swinging arm more while playing guitar, he seemed to get that in about every 30 seconds. 

CBS and the The Who should be embarrassed by this.  CBS is so busy trying not to book bands that will offending anyone that they bore the hell out of us instead.

Ice Ice Jedward

Irish twin brothers, John Paul Henry Daniel Richard Grimes and Edward Peter Anthony Kevin Patrick Grimes have released there debut single. The brothers better known as Jedward first appeared as contestants on the 6th season of the British reality show X-Factor.

The 18 year old brothers debut single “Under Pressure” is a dance/pop/rap remake of both the David Bowie/Queen hit and also includes verses of the Vanilla Ice hit “Ice Ice Baby”. The song is actually very catchy, however the brother come across more as old gay lovers than brothers when watching them perform.

Anvil Concert Review

This past Friday night, Canadian metal band Anvil made a stop in St. Louis. They played in front of a fairly large crowd at one of St. Louis’s top concert venues, The Pageant. The crowd was full of metal-heads of all ages and while it was obvious that most of the fans there had never heard of Anvil before the documentary “Anvil! The Story of Anvil”, they were loud and into every note the band ripped out.

Read more

A Rapping Twit

Everything Miley Cyrus does annoys the hell out of me and this is no different. I know all the 40 year old men will be heart broken not knowing when little Miley is shitting or putting on a Hannah Montana wig, but Miley has decided to close her Twitter account. That shouldn’t be annoying, right? Well in order to explain herself to all of her adoring pre-teen and pedophile fans she decided to rap about it and put it on YouTube.

The Truth About Michael Jackson

It’s been nearly a week since the death of Michael Jackson. The initial shock has faded, replaced by grandstanding, speculation, innuendo, and some very tasteless (and very funny) jokes.

Seemingly lost in the pandemonium are the simple truths about the man and the people around him. Truths like these:

Read more

Hottest Michael Jackson Video Ever?

As we fall away from the shocking and sudden death of Michael Jackson, we start to reminisce about various aspects of his talent and legacy.

One of the curious things about Jackson was his sexuality. At one time, he was considered the sexiest singer on the planet, which is hard to remember after years of freakish plastic surgeries. There certainly weren’t too many women lining up to be humped by the Zombie Michael we all knew and feared from the last decade. But his videos were, for the most part, much more reflective of the man himself – asexual, puerile, childish, and extravagant. Only in a few videos did Michael dabble with sexual themes or adult situations.

So I ask – which Michael Jackson video do you think is the hottest or sexiest video he ever made?

Here are your choices:

Read more

Stealing Satriani

Coldplay are one of the worlds biggest and in my mind overrated bands. They are also arrogant pompous assholes who act as if they revolutionized music. I don’t think anything about the band is revolutionary and now we know that they are not very original. Just ask rock guitarist Joe Satriani.

The guitarist has taken issue with the band Coldplay for their Grammy nominated song “Viva La Vida.” Satriani has filed a copyright infringement law suit claiming the band stole the song from him and are claiming it as their own original song. Satriani feels the song which is up for record and song of the year at this years Grammy awards, steals from his 2004 song “If I Could Fly.” He says for him, hearing the Coldplay song hurt like a dagger through his heart. Take a listen and see what you think.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ofFw9DKu_I[/youtube]

Coldplay and their arrogant assbag singer Chris Martin believe otherwise. Martin doesn’t understand the lawsuit saying, “If there are any similarities between our two pieces of music, they are entirely coincidental, and just as surprising to us as to him.” This is nothing new. Artist steal from other artist all the time, but it’s usually not so obvious. The problem hear lies with the overwhelming arrogance of Martin. The song is clearly a rip off and how he can deny it is amazing.

This band plays pussy soft rock and yet have been dubbed the greatest current rock band in the world by critics. Martin needs to grow some balls, become a man and admit he ripped of Satriani. Fuck, just say it’s a cool song and I and thought my wussy-bitch-like lyrics would sound cool with it. I doubt Satriani would have cared if they used it, if they would have just asked him and credited him for it. I hope every dime that Coldplay have made off of that song goes to Satriani. It’s time that a real musician actually gets credit for their work.

Back To The Jungle?

We have become accustom to strange things happening in the world of music.  We have become even more accustom to the fact that Axl Rose is a fucktard.  Axl destroyed one of the greatest rock bands in the history of music with his huge ego and now he maybe having a change of heart.

First Axl kicking everybody out of the band and replacing them with friends to record a new album.  After the album was recorded Axl disappeared to his cave in the mountains for a few years and put the release of the album on hold.   A few years later he kicked his friends out of the band and replaced them with a man that wears a KFC bucket on his head and even better friends and rerecorded the album, only to postpone it again.   Alx again wasn’t happy with the songs and disappeared into his cave.

Years later, after being unheard of for years, Axl and his new band performed as part of the MTV video music awards.  The performance was terrible and the fat, dreadlock sporting Rose was completely off key the entire performance.  Still people got excited and couldn’t wait for the new album, but again Axl postponed the release. 

Fast forward to the end of 2008.  After years of hiding out, eating, delaying and getting bitch slapped by Tommy Hilfiger.  Axl finally released Chinese Democracy.  The album was sure to be huge.  Everybody’s been waiting 15 years for new music from Axl.  After that long it’s got to be perfect. 

There was one problem though.  The songs sucked and people were not excited, they were annoyed and pissed off.  It took Axl over 15 years to come up with this shit, that’s just unexeptible.  If that’s the best he could come up with it may be time to wonder off to his cave and braid his hair for the rest of his life, or until he eats himself to death.

However, the album did manage to sell  261,000 copies and debut at #3 on the Billboard charts behind Kanye west and Taylor Swift.  Which is great because Axl was so sure that the thing would be a huge hit that he disappeared again.  The record label wanted him to help promote the new album, but they were unable to reach him for weeks.  Who can blame him?  He didn’t want to sit around and answer questions about that Goddamn Slash.  He’s a geniuos and just released a great album.  That’s what people need to be talking about.

 Now, the UK newspaper The Daily Telegraph is reporting that Axl wants to reunite the original group.  That sounds great, but will they still have that same magic they had 20 years ago.  I think they should all just finally move on.  Slash and Izzy should just tell Axl to kiss their ass, but are both unemployed so the reunion is bound to happen.  Maybe after all this time, Axl has finally realized that he is irrelevant and without Slash he’s nothing.  So just maybe one day soon we will be seeing this again.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHB_j4KYQKA[/youtube]

Lip Sucking

Britney Spears made yet another appearance in support of her new album CIRCUS. She showed up on GOOD MORNING AMERICA with some elaborate dance number that only vaguely resembled its circus theme. The only thing missing was a monkey or a midget.

Both might have helped.

But here’s what I want to know – who still finds this shit entertaining?

Long ago, people who made money from a musical career had to sing and/or play an instrument. Now, thanks to MTV and people like early Madonna and Janet Jackson, an entire new subgenre of musical performance has emerged. It requires only a fit body and some semblance of rhythm. The shows are elaborate, yet mean nothing. The “singer” wears a little head-mounted microphone, giving the pathetic illusion that they are singing live. But they most certainly are not.

Sometimes a performer chooses this style of performance as a stylistic statement. Notice the brilliant use of lip-synching by Madonna for her MTV Video Music Award performance of VOGUE in 1990:

The song is about artifice anyway, so why sing it live?

However, most performances using this technique turn out awkward and ridiculous. Even worse, there’s no point to a lip-synched performance like this at all. People like Britney Spears – like Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul, and Madonna before her – did not become famous as line dancers or strippers; they’re suppoed to be SINGERS. Yet, for some unknown reason, they keep churning out these appearances during which they robotically dance around in front of a bunch of other dancers. Either sing the fucking song or go work at Hardees.

But the more curious question is this: why is this sort of lip-synching performance still acceptable for audiences today? Are people still that interested in seeing Britney Spears writhe around on stage while pretending to sing?? In the age of free music and the internet, shouldn’t we be expecting more from the so-called artists who receive our money and attention??

We can only hope that the continued piracy of music forces out all of the talentless trollops and wannabees, replacing them with true musicians who can do the damn thing live.

Fuck Off, Rolling Stone!!!!!

 

As Chris eluded to to in his last post, the Rolling Stone list of 100 Greatest Singers of All Time is an absolute atrocity.  The biggest problem I have with this is that Rolling Stone’s word is so highly revered.  Of Course, it’s only highly revered by those who have little to no music knowledge and those who have their asshole reamed by Rolling Stone on a constant basis.  All list are just opinion, but when your opinion is printed in the “Holy Book” of music it should come with some responsibility. 

You should actually try to but a list of the “best”, not a who’s who of artsy performers that you consider influential.  One of the most common phrases used to describe these greatest singers is “influential”.  Ozzy Osbourne was influential, shouldn’t he be on the list then.  They even tell you that one artist, Solomon Burke never had a crossover hit.  While I don’t think a big hit makes you a great singer, I do think that a great singer should have a big hit.  I mean, if your that damn good wouldn’t your songs be.  Now on to the list and my thoughts.

Read more

Lost Madonna Found

She is arguably the most important musical figure of the last thirty years. Through most of that time period, she has managed to carefully craft manage both her image and her music. But her early days, long before she achieved her desired megafame, were carefree and much more playful than the hardened businesswoman in the limelight today.

And now we have a glimpse into Madonna’s earliest recordings. Interspersed with her acceptance speech this summer at the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, the recordings reveal the bawdiness and innocent experimentation that informed her earliest work. Check it out:

Even at this point, Madonna showed a keen interest in learning how to play instruments and compose music, a quality her vast army of imitators lack. Anyone who tries to write off this woman as insignificant or talentless is a fool.

Thanks to my boy Rex over at Fimoculous!

The Last Of The Breed

                     

True originality and greatness are fading quickly in the music world.  As each year goes by, we lose more of musics great pioneers.  This year we have already lost Bo Diddley, Eddy Arnold, and Buddy Miles and most of the ones left are to old to continue to record new music or even play live shows.  Just over a week ago, however, I had an opportunity to see one of music last remaining music legends.  The night before Father’s Day, I went to the Fabulous Fox Theatre in St. Louis to see the legendary Willie Nelson. 

The show was an experience that’s hard to explain.  It’s wasn’t a concert that you stand and scream all night or jump around, he did get a number of standing ovations and ruckus applause though.  It wasn’t a concert that made you want to act crazy or dive off of the balcony.  Instead, it was almost like a religious experience.  As, you sat there you knew you were witnessing something special, something that you may never see again.  

When Willie first stepped onto the stage, the place went crazy.  He received a long and loud standing ovation from the sold out crowd and Willie acknowledged it even though he acted as if he didn’t know what the fuss was about.  The applause lasted until the first note of Whiskey River, and the crowd quieted and sat almost in amazement.  Willie never missed a beat, he played as many hits as he could cram into his 75 minute set.  He played songs he wrote that were made famous by other people.

 

He played songs that he wrote for himself himself.

He played songs that he didn’t write, but made famous.

 

And he played a few new songs, before closing the night with the gospel classic I’ll Fly Away. 

Willie’s guitar work was dead on and his slow, lazy vocal delivery was as beautiful as ever.  The best part about this concert was the fact that I finally got a chance to see another music legend (Chuck Berry being the other).  The worst part, is knowing that these opportunities are becoming fewer and fewer.  There just aren’t many left like Willie.  

I recommend to anybody who is a fan of music, don’t pass up a chance to see Willie.  If you can, take your kids.  Let them see a real artist at work, maybe they will learn to respect music more and listen to less shit like Fergie, Jay-Z, Rascal Flatts, or what ever shitty actress has a new album out next week.

Willie Nelson is simply one of the greatest songwriters, singers and performers to ever grace a stage.  He’s one of the few artist that has been able to transcend his genre of music and just be considered cool, by everyone.  He has dueted with everybody from Johnny Cash to Ray Charles and now even Snoop Dogg.  Willie Nelson is sadly the last of a breed.

R.I.P. Bo Diddley

                  

The music world has once again lost a legend. Rock n Roll pioneer Bo Diddley has died, after months of bad health. Last August, Diddley health problems began after suffering a heart attack. Three months later, he had a bad stoke that affected his ability to speak. After returning to his home in Florida Diddley health problems continued has he tried to rehabilitate from the stroke and heart attack. Diddley died in his home today at the age of 79.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASOwLFn9Mdg[/youtube]

Diddley was known the world over for his homemade square guitar, dark glasses and black hat, as he was his music. His trademark sound has influence many. You don’t have to look far to hear his signature rhythm of, bomp ba-bomp bomp, bomp bomp, in many of rocks great guitarists. The Who, Bruce Springsteen, Elvis Costello and Buddy Holly are just a few who were influence by Diddley.

Bo Diddley was an American original, but luckily his music will live on in every rock and blues guitarist that has followed. This impact on music began with a simple beat and continued through a passion and integrity that many of today’s artist couldn’t touch. Do Diddley’s originality and love for music will be missed, but fortunately he inspired generations and left us will hours and hours of great music and memories. Rest In Peace Mr. Diddley.

Here is a look at some of Bo Diddley’s best work.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgzn7VyoqEw[/youtube]

Here’s a medley of his hits, Road Runner/Bring It To Jerome/Mona

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=bMzCtNCJgyY[/youtube]

When Is Enough, Enough ?

In 1994, The Eagles reunited.   They did this despite the fact that they still hated each other.  The group decided that enough money could make a reunion tour worth having to be around each other.  They openly reunited just for the money and made a ton of it on the Hell Freezes Over Tour.   

Since The Eagles reunion, many of bands have reunited.  Some have actually managed to revive there career (Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, The Police), but most disappeared back to their jobs at Wal-Mart.  Some bands have even decided that they should reform with new sings (The Doors, Alice In Chains, Queen, Blind Melon, Boston)  and tarnish the bands original legacy.  The one thing that keeps this trend going is money.

It’s seems that people always want that one last chance to see their favorite band or even a band that reminds them of their youth.  This allows these groups one chance to make themselves important again and it gives the aging baby boomers a chance to feel young again.  The sad thing is that the reunion tour is bigger (not better) than ever, just look at last years Police, Van Halen and Genesis tours. 

This year is no exception and may have even more shitty reunions than ever.  The biggest may be Stone Temple Pilots and Motley Crue.  Motley Crue are back, even though Tommy Lee said he would never play with the band again and Mick Mars is still alive so prop him up and let the fun begin.  Stone Temple Pilots, on the other hand, will be a crap shoot.  It could put on a great show every night, but with Scott Weiland’s history the chance of that is small.  The smart thing that both of these bands are doing is making each show like a festival, that way you may get your money’s worth.

 

The worst reunion news has to be New Kids On The Block.  It blows my mind that anybody would care to see this.  I watched them perform on the Today show  last week and it was terrible.  Their horrible dancing made then looked like fools and they sounded off key and flat.  Yet, somehow they are selling out shows in minutes (Chicago sold out in 10 minutes) and have added a full summer of shows. 

If that wasn’t bad enough.  Their is also talk of an Extreme reunion, a Jackson 5 reunion (that rumors comes up every year) a Led Zeppelin tour.  Who gives a shit about Extreme?  The Jackson 5 have tried it before and nobody cared and please, please, please somebody stop the Led Zeppelin tour.  This would do nothing but suck.  These are old men, well Jimmy Page looks like an old woman now, and it just won’t be good.  Does anybody really think that 60 year old men singing Black Dog and Rock and Roll will do anything but embarrass the band?

Also, reuniting this year are The Black Crowes, The Breeders, Yes and The B-52’s. The Black Crowes are a good band and are always worth checking out, but I’m not sure I see any reason for the other ones, especially B-52’s.

  When will this stop?  When will people stop paying to seeing band that only sound have as good as they should?  When is enough, enough?

Another Dumb Ass List

                   

Rob O’Connor of Yahoo recently took the time to put together the 25 Worst Hair Metal bands of all time, for his List Of The Day blog.   The great thing about list is the fact that they almost always seem to spark some sort of debate or discussion.  This list though, comes across as being written by somebody who doesn’t really know much about the subject and that makes the list come across as stupid.

The biggest problem of the list is putting Poison #1. 

 [youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=GnozlGyg4sI[/youtube]

That seems to be the safe pick, for everybody.  You mean to tell me that Poison were worse than Trixter or Slaughter or Winger?  Winger isn’t even on the list, but I’ll get to that later.  By putting Poison #1, it proves that he really knows nothing about the type of music.  Yet the average music fan listens to this opinion, because he must know what he’s talking about.  After all it’s his job to know, right? 

The next huge mistake was putting Skid Row #2. 

 [youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=5YSKIbWDqS8[/youtube]

Yes, Sebastian Bach is an arrogant egotistical jack-off, but Skid Row aren’t a hair metal band.  I know they get lumped into the category, but they shouldn’t.  It’s kind of like in the mid 90’s when every band that came out of Seattle was grunge.  Seriously, who in the hell really thought that Candlebox or the Screaming Trees were grunge.  So again to say that Skid Row is “hair metal” is wrong and to say that they were worse than Bad English, Bullet Boys or Slaughter is ridiculous.

The other problem I have with the list is the bands that were left off.  How does Winger miss making the list. 

 [youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=XZHVkJ1wVFM[/youtube]

How about Nelson, Faster Pussycat, or Kix?  These bands not only should have made the list, but they should have been way above Poison, Skid Row and Whitesnake.  I wish when people make a list they would actually put a little thought into it and not just take the easy route and throw the safe picks at the top. 

I’m sure Rob O’Connor is a knowledgeable guy, but this list would suggest otherwise.

Falling Down On Her Face

                                 

The new music video and debut single for the song Falling Down by actress Scarlett Johansson has been released. 

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=BbfFsm2MRes[/youtube]

 That’s right she’s now a singer and is releasing an album, Anywhere I lay my head.  The video’s stupid, to me it seems as if she’s complaining about being a famous actress.  If she doesn’t want to be a big movie star, then stay out of movies. 

As far as the song goes, I’m not really getting it.  Her voice sounds odd and not in a good way for me.  She kind of resembles a week version of Sinead O’Connor.  Hearing this, makes me think that like most actresses turned singer, her vocals needed a lot of help.  It’s like they thought the best way to help her was by making the music overpower her and and giving her voice an odd sound.  This may have worked in the 80’s (remember Martika), but it’s just not very good for this era of music.  People are tired of shitty music

I’m not a big fan of Johansson to begin with and find her to be funy looking, so maybe I’m biased.  I feel that I gave the song a fair try though and I still think it sucks.  This is just another blow to the music industry.  There are plenty of good aspiring artists that are never given a break and yet this funny looking Hollywood bitch, gets to put out an album.  So now, Scarlett Johansson, Hillary Duff, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Brooke Hogan and countless of other Hollywood “Hotties” have released albums.  This is why the people don’t pay for Cd’s anymore. 

I just wish at the end of the video Michael Doughlas would have come and beat her with a baseball bat.

Holy Shit!!!! The House Is Shaking

                   

This morning as a laid peacefully in my bed, sound asleep, I was suddenly awoken to find that my house was shaking.   First I though, my wife must have jumped out of bed and ran though the house.  Then I realized she was still in bad and the house was moving, I didn’t know what the hell was going on.  Turns out it was an earthquake.  I live in St. Louis, not California.  We are supposed to be concerned with tornadoes, floods and meth labs, not earthquakes. 

The earthquake that rumbled through the Midwest early this morning registered at 5.2 on the Richter scale.  That may not seem that bad to some of you that live in California, but here in the Midwest that’s pretty strong. 

So, needless to say the earthquake has been the topic of conversation everywhere I’ve been today.  The news channels have talked about it all day and it was the big topic with neighbors, friends and family even people I never met before.  All of this talk got me thinking about all of the ways the earthquakes have impacted the entertainment world.  The eathquake is allways featured in natual disaster movies, but here are the most memorable ones.

The first one that always comes to mind for me is the Loma Prieta earthquake of 1989.  This was the first earthquake to ever be televised on national television.  It, of course took place during game 3 of the Oakland A’s/San Francisco Giants World Series that year (God knew the A’s were cheating and he was trying to stop them from winning).  The quake being on National T.V. allowed people to immediately know what was happening/or coming there way and may have saved thousands of lives.  Here is a video taken moments after the quake hit.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=5u3xGVE20Tw[/youtube]

Then there is the blockbuster 1979 film Earthquake.  The movie was stacked full of stars and became one of the biggest hits of the year.  It capitalized on peoples natural fears of a earth shaking catastrophe.  The movie showed people what a major quake could do and even though the special effects look bad now, they were effected at the time.  The quake destroyed Los Angeles and showed the fear of people just trying to survive, something that everybody can relate to. 

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=GKiApY_U3kA[/youtube]

The most recent use of earthquakes in a movie (at least that I can think of at the moment) is the earthquake destruction of Metropolis in the film Superman Returns.  This is also one of the worst earthquakes ever on film and maybe why it is so memorable to me.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=GCTjE3B2W58[/youtube]

Movies are not the only forms of entertainment to pay homage to earthquakes.  Carole King had a pretty big hit with the song I Feel The Earth Move.  Where do you think she got that idea?

 [youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=BWvUZB9h_Rg[/youtube]

 Then there is wrestling.  Who could forget the Earthquake.  I remember the shocking morning, as a child when Earthquake squashed Jake The Snake’s snake Damien.  What a terrible thing this was.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=oCMewWTUiOA[/youtube]

Anyway it was kind of cool living through my first real earthquake, but I think I’ll pass on any future opportunities to experience another.

Great Live Performance

Last night, the 2008 Grammy Awards were handed out.  The awards provided no real surprises, but the show did gives us a couple of great performances.

  Read more

Worst Half Time Performance Ever?

It’s strange. The Super Bowl has an audience of 95 million (mostly) males of various ages, and yet the organizers behind the yearly most-watched television event cannot understand what type of musical performance best fits the venue.

Case in point: yesterday’s laughable Paula Abdul “performance.”

Read more

Spiezio Rocks

St. Louis Cardinals fan favorite and utility player Scott Spiezio is not only a clutch hitter of the bench, but he is also a hard rocker.  Do you think he has a career after baseball?

Read more

Next Page »