Ray's new husband? Not in Missouri!!

Oh, how I do love Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He’s laid back, approachable, talented, and one hell of a crazysexycool dude. While I’m not willing to commit to any desire to have an affair with the guy, let’s just say that thresholds could be crossed in his presence with the right number of drinks and/or flavored jellies. The rest I cannot discuss on a family site such as this.

Anyway, the guy’s been balls-out awesome since his tender, youthful days on Third Rock From The Sun, which showed off his genetically-engineered comedic timing. He was amazing in Brick (have you seen it? No? Go watch it right now and come back!). He out-charisma’d Leonardo DiCaprio in Inception. The guy’s just a loveable teddy bear of the berry bestest stuff!

Did you know that JGL also wanders out to clubs and entertains the masses? He sure does! And he does it with a self-deprecating humor sorely missing from thumb-up-their-ass bands like Kings of Leon. I guarantee that JGL wouldn’t run away from a couple of pigeons – he would’ve made that bird shit work, dammit!

Anyway, here’s the love of my pathetic life singing Natural Woman with more passion than Aretha ever jettisoned out of her phat black ass:

Oh JGL, we love you!!!!! Never change!!!!

Inspired by the Susan Boyle phenomenon – frumpy woman with a beautiful voice stuns a crowd – Jewel teamed with the Funny Or Die guys to recreate that moment. Jewel dressed up like a dumpy, homely woman and sang a couple of songs at a karaoke bar. The results are pretty damned cool:

The original We Are The World was a horrible and annoying song written by Michael Jackson (make the sign of the cross) and Lionel Ritchie way back in 1985. The song was a star-studded American affair that projected American pomposity while pretending to help starving Africans, but really only helped to say goodbye to a bunch of musical careers. Has anybody seen Steve Perry since then?

Now they’ve made a new version for Haiti. And it’s even worse than the original.

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An 80′s funk classic gets a hard rock make over.  Which do you prefer?

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It looks like I have yet another answer to look for in The Encyclopedia Of Metallica.  I need an answer to this question.  What the hell were they thinking covering Rare Earth and Garbage at the Bridge School Benefit?

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