A Tribute to Corey Haim???

Corey Haim’s body will be laid to rest in a small ceremony in Toronto, Canada tomorrow, officially ending the drug-addled saga of Hollywood’s latest child actor/victim. But it’s not, however, the end.

When I wrote about Haim’s death a few days ago, I mumbled something at the end of the article that is now proving prophetic. I said, “Hopefully (Feldman) doesn’t use this as a publicity stunt like his Michael Jackson bullshit last summer.” Well, unfortunately, Feldman today announced that he will indeed be making this into a publicity stunt. He is planning a star-studded tribute to the late actor next month in Los Angeles.

I don’t know if Jermaine Jackson will show up to sing again – I certainly hope not – but you can be assured that Feldman will sing a song for his missing friend. And when he does, it will surely be one of the worst moments of the year, a trainwreck of monumental proportions. To give you some idea of what is in store at this memorial, here’s a horrific clip from The Two Coreys in which Feldman sings to his wife on Valentine’s Day. It is beyond awful:

I hope nobody talks Feldman out of singing at this thing. It’ll be hilarious.

Corey Haim: A Really Lost Boy

I doubt if anyone who saw Corey Haim on the disastrous-but-addictive reality show The Two Coreys is surprised to learn this morning that the former Lucas was found dead of a drug overdose. He spent much of two seasons on the show slurring, throwing tantrums, and crying uncontrollably. The guy was obviously on the edge from something. Now we can confirm it was drugs.

And what a waste. Haim was absolutely adorable in the role of Lucas, a nerd who falls in love with a girl out of his league. Haim had the looks and talent to completely dominate films for years. Unfortunately, Haim found drugs at an early age. Haim was even doing drugs during the shoot for The Lost Boys, his biggest role, and he was what … sixteen years old? Drugs completely evaporated that talent, and left the kid a conceited, hollowed shell that Hollywood quickly discarded. Here he is at this time, denying the drugs that he was obviously on while making this horrible promotional video:

He mostly disappeared for several years before turning up on E! in 2001 completely wasted:

He still had the looks at this point, but his brain was pickled and useless. But as time went on, he physically began to deteriorate. He apparently spent several years slinking around in the underbelly of Hollywood, scoring drugs instead of acting roles.

Then he turned up on that damned Two Coreys show, which was compulsively watchable. Haim’s decline was the primary reason for this, much like craning your neck to see a car wreck. I admired Corey Feldman for standing beside Haim until it was no longer possible; I would’ve told the guy off a long time ago. Ultimately, though, Haim’s drug use and radical mood shifts became too much for the married and stable Feldman, and I don’t blame him one bit for leaving Haim. I can only imagine what Feldman is feeling today. Hopefully he doesn’t use this as a publicity stunt much like his Michael Jackson bullshit from last year.

Anyway, Corey Haim is dead, and nobody’s surprised. But for the generation that saw this cute little kid with the big eyes and bright smile, there is a twinge of sadness that Hollywood killed another child actor. Taylor Lautner, you’re next!!

Fuck You Lowes and G.E. Money!

A few days ago I was shocked to receive a letter from G.E. Money, the lending institution that finances several companies, including Lowe’s home improvement stores. I received a Lowe’s card with a $300 limit in the summer of 2006, despite a spotty credit history. It wasn’t much, but I wanted something to use in case the house needed repairs. The letter said that they were cancelling my account.

Huh? I had never missed a payment during the entire time I had the card, and paid it off several times. I hadn’t even had a balance on it since last September. My general credit report has vastly improved since 2006, and my credit score is now 700. Yet somehow this has happened.

I have no problem shopping elsewhere for home supplies. Home Depot is convenient and friendly, and the internet allows me to buy things at a discount. But it was nice to have that extra credit and store; the open credit account only helps boost my credit even more.

I just spent several minutes chewing out the very nice lady that answered my call at Lowes. I just find it hard to believe that any company in these economic times would choose to alienate customers who have conscientiously paid their bills and wisely used the credit extended to them. It’s safe to say that I will never spend another penny at a Lowes ever again, and I will never use credit from G.E. Money, either. It’s time that average consumers, the ones responsible for bailing out these irresponsible banks, started letting their money do the talking.

FUCK YOU LOWES AND G.E. MONEY!

RIP Boner

Andrew Koenig, better know to the world as Boner has been found dead in a densely wood area. He was found by family and friends who initiated their own private search. Boner had been battling depression according to his father, Star Trek actor Walter Koenig. The 41 year old actor had been missing for over a week.

It’s very sad that at 41 years old he felt that his life was lost and that the only answer was suicide.

Please Let This Be It

Michael Jackson has been dead for over six months now. His movie has come and gone. Hell, even the 35% of his body made of actual human flesh has disintegrated by now. Yet we’re still being deluged with Jackson-related garbage.

Not only are the money-hungry producers of Jackson’s This Is It pushing for a Best Picture Oscar nomination for their incomplete, hastily-edited rehearsal footage – possibly the worst Best Picture nominee ever conceived, but they have hired Spike “I hate the white man” Lee to direct a music video for the title song.

I really don’t care if you’re the biggest Michael Jackson fan alive, you must admit that this song sucks. It’s meaningless, with a limp vocal performance and even worse music. It’s not a fitting tribute to the man at all.

The video does a better job of saluting Jackson through pictures and video, with almost all of it coming from the pre-freak years. After the jump you can witness this newest Jackson-related cash grab:
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Flight of the Conchords Crashes

One of the most brilliant shows to ever grace television, The Flight of the Conchords, has been cancelled after only two tiny little seasons. We first covered it way back in August of 2007, just after it premiered, which you can revisit here.

The show was probably too eclectic for most people, actually. In a faintly meta concept, the show revolved around two New Zealand singers named Bret Mackenzie and Jermaine Clement who perform under the name Flgiht of the Conchords – which is exactly the truth. Every week followed the boys as they struggled with girl problems and career problems, which then segued into amazing song/fantasy numbers.

Just watch this in amazement:

These guys are comedic geniuses who will be sorely missed. I’m not holding my breath for the rumored Conchords movie, either.

Oprah Quits

So Oprah Winfrey has decided to quit her television show in September of 2011, which will be a rounded 25 years on the air. It’s been a wildly successful run, and Winfrey will probably be hailed aas a milestone in the industry. When she started, she was a dumpy black woman in a white-dominated world, but she succeeded due to talent and brains.

Personally, I’m glad she’s calling it quits. She’s become far too sappy in recent years, and her new-age nonsense was beginning to grate on my nerves. Her book-of-the-month club selections have also suffered from this annoying new-age vibe, with only her choice of The Road standing as the only good selection in years. But mainly I just think it’s time for Winfrey to move her fat ass over and let something new take her place. The talk show industry has been constrained by the rules Winfrey imposed with her success, and I’d like to see that shaken up a bit.

So now Oprah can go home and get fatter and count her billions of dollars while pretending not to be Gayle’s pussy-licking girlfriend.

Ken Ober Leaves The Basement

I was fairly shocked to learn that Ken Ober died two days ago. The guy was only 52 years old, and he didn’t seem like he was deathly ill or anything. In fact, he had been working up until recently.

If the name doesn’t ring a bell, you must be over fifty or under twenty years old. From 1987-1992 Ober hosted the MTV game show Remote Control. It was one of the first serious changes in MTV’s business strategy, as they began to move away from strictly showing music videos (dumb). The show was goofy fun, built on the premise that Ober lived in his mother’s basement and secretly held a game show down there. The contestants were buckled into lounge chairs and asked a series of pop culture questions. Losing contestants were removed out of the basement still strapped to their chairs.

The show made Ober something of a celebrity, although he never became super-famous. Probably part of that was due to his laid-back, nonchalant attitude. Ober was very intelligent and quite funny, but he never seemed pompous or arrogant; he seemed like a guy who might make a pretty good friend.

The show launched the career of Adam Sandler – thanks a lot for THAT one, MTV! – and also helped make Colin Quinn temporarily famous. But it was Ober in the center of the fray that grounded the show and made it fun to watch.

Someone apparently thought to videotape an early episode in 1987, which you can now see via the glories of YouTube:

Patrick Swayze Dances On

Patrick Swayze was not a great actor, and his movies generally sucked.

But he should be admired, not for his body of work, but for the way he generally carried himself in his life. He was not generally tabloid fodder, having had a long and happy marriage. He made mistakes, and he often humbly admitted them. He was hard working, even in the face of terrible odds.

When he announced his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, he was forthright and honest about how his smoking probably played a role in his fate. He showed a lot of character in moments like that, far more so than any of his roles ever could. He seemed like a decent person with a positive outlook who was cut down far too early.

Sad. 

Even sadder than Swayze’s passing was the disrespectful way he was treated by the paparazzi and the tabloids. They did everything except barge in on him while he suffered through chemo. Did we really need to see weekly and daily glances at his withered, skeletal frame?

Imagine how awful it would be to deal with such a traumatic illness under the ever flashing gaze of photographers. I can barely stand going to the grocery store when I have a zit on my nose … what Swayze endured was beyond reason.

Candles Blown Out: John Hughes Dies

A month ago we witnessed the death of a pop culture icon who had disintegrated before our eyes. And now it’s happened again.

John Hughes, the writer/director of some of the seminal teenage-oriented films of the eighties, died today on the streets of New York of an apparent heart attack. He was 59.

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What The Deficit Means To You

Lovely news today … the budget deficit this coming year will reach 1 trillion dollars.

In short, we’re fucked.

The only hope for mankind is a Roland Emmerich-style disaster that will put us out of our misery quickly and painlessly. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like it’s coming anytime soon:

R.I.P. Bo Diddley

                  

The music world has once again lost a legend. Rock n Roll pioneer Bo Diddley has died, after months of bad health. Last August, Diddley health problems began after suffering a heart attack. Three months later, he had a bad stoke that affected his ability to speak. After returning to his home in Florida Diddley health problems continued has he tried to rehabilitate from the stroke and heart attack. Diddley died in his home today at the age of 79.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASOwLFn9Mdg[/youtube]

Diddley was known the world over for his homemade square guitar, dark glasses and black hat, as he was his music. His trademark sound has influence many. You don’t have to look far to hear his signature rhythm of, bomp ba-bomp bomp, bomp bomp, in many of rocks great guitarists. The Who, Bruce Springsteen, Elvis Costello and Buddy Holly are just a few who were influence by Diddley.

Bo Diddley was an American original, but luckily his music will live on in every rock and blues guitarist that has followed. This impact on music began with a simple beat and continued through a passion and integrity that many of today’s artist couldn’t touch. Do Diddley’s originality and love for music will be missed, but fortunately he inspired generations and left us will hours and hours of great music and memories. Rest In Peace Mr. Diddley.

Here is a look at some of Bo Diddley’s best work.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgzn7VyoqEw[/youtube]

Here’s a medley of his hits, Road Runner/Bring It To Jerome/Mona

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=bMzCtNCJgyY[/youtube]

Why Heath Mattered

As fans everywhere mourn the untimely death of Heath Ledger, their outpouring of sadness, confusion and shock seems appropriate – yet confusing. After all, Ledger had very few films to his credit by the time he died, and most of those films were of the seldom-seen, art-house variety.

But as Nathaniel over at Film Experience mentioned today, one film – and the artistry behind that performance – has left everyone today desperately wanting more.

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Goodbye, Heath

Most words fail to convey the utter helplessness and sadness at the passing of someone special like Heath Ledger. News reports can tell you the forensic details, but nothing can really capture the heart-raping agony of this talented boy’s death.

Here’s a poem that I put together in honor of this wonderful and troubled young man.

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Heath Ledger Is Dead

What the fuck is going on in Hollywood?  Another top actor has died of an apparent accidental drug overdose.  Which is not a surprise after his last interview.

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Death Of A Young Star

Actor Brad Renfro was found dead in his Los Angeles home this morning.  He cause isn’t known yet, but his history of drug abuse is more than likely a factor.

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Vampira Expira

The famed Vampira, television’s first horror host, died today. With her goes a long tradition of late-night oddities and hosts that once made television something more than simply a money making machine.

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Bitch, I Can’t Hit You No Mo

                 

Rock n’ Roll pioneer and legendary wife beater Ike Turner was found dead today.  He was 76 years old.  The cause of death is not known yet, but he has claimed to be clean and sober for years now.  We’ll see about that. 

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Bow Your Head – Kevin Dubrow RIP

                   

The music world has lost yet another Icon.  Quiet Riot front-man Kevin Dubrow was found dead in his Las Vegas on Sunday.  The cause of death, of the 52 year old singer has not yet been determined. 

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Tummy Tuck = $4,000, Breast Reduction = $3,000, Life = Priceless

                   

Over the weekend, Dr. Donda West, the mother of rapper Kanye West died.    Donda used to work as her son’s manager and earlier this year, she released a book called Raising Kanye about the rapper’s childhood and her experiences as his manager.

At first the cause of death was unknown, but it appears that we now know how she died.    

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