What The Hell

Those damned snobs and cultural Nazis have won the battle. T-Shirt Hell is no more.

What is T-Shirt Hell, you ask? Only the greatest online t-shirt company in the world, you dumb faggot. Every shirt is a lovingly-crafted middle finger to the sensitive sensibilities of religious and sexual prudes everywhere. I dare you to check out their site. In fact, anyone who comes here needs to go there right now.

The guy who has been running this company for eight years has made an enormous amount of money; in his goodbye letter, he brags that the company still sells 3000 shirts a week in a slow economy. That’s a lot of dough, folks. But I especially love the part where he has decided to not sell-out. The guy is simply going out of business and walking away. HOORAY!!! There is someone out there with balls of integrity.

And to the dumbshits out there who drove him to this unfortunate decision, go fuck yourself in your eye socket until you can actually see the pain.

The Sign Says It All

Time To Do Some Catching Up

Fox’s new hit Fringe will take a bit of a hiatus after airing its tenth episode last night, its last until January. For those of you that have avoided it because you don’t think that you can commit to it, you are wrong. In today’s world the TV Guide is no longer relevant, shows are aired by their network’s websites in order for casual fans to stay caught up. There is no commitment involved, watch at your leisure, this show is worth it.  Read more

Worst President Ever?

With less than a week to go in the American Presidential race, The Times in London is running a series of articles detailing a list of Presidents, ranked worst to best. The list is culled from the choices of a large group of historians and journalists.

Their choice for worst President of all time? James Buchanan (1857-1861), who presided over the build-up to the Civil War by unwisely shoving a thumb up his ass.  Other notable fuckheads include the infamous Richard Nixon (of course) and, at only number 33 of 42, the incomparably bad George W. Bush.

For my money, the worst President in American history is Read more

Real Monsters

During the Halloween season you hear many of mythical stories. Ones about mothman, Bigfoot, werewolves, and other strange creatures. But there is another creature you may need to be concerned about. Strange creatures have been washing up on beaches the past few years. They have appeared in New York, Russia and most recently Connecticut. The creatures all have the same beak-like mouth, sharp teeth, and fat hairless bodies. The Russian creature actually appeared to be reptile like, with a long tail. People have guess that the creature maybe a dog, a turtle or even a raccoon, but nobody really knows. These creatures could be from hell or even Mars and they should clearly be cause for concern. They may be lurking in our oceans the kill us and take over the world.

Greatest Movie Characters: Big Ernie McCracken

We want to start looking back at some of our favorite movie characters, and the people who brought them to life. Have any suggestions?? Leave them in the comments section!

Bill Murray was already a comedic legend by the time the infamous Farrelly Brothers tapped him to play the slimy, self-centered bowling champion Ernie McCracken in the 1996 comedy KINGPIN. He had established himself as the king of sarcasm in the late seventies on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, and then cemented his fame with scene-stealing turns in CADDYSHACK, MEATBALLS, and GHOSTBUSTERS. However, his true comedic masterpiece came midway through his career as “Big Ern” in KINGPIN.

Look at this subtle scene early in the film. Murray manages to make McCracken smarmy and sleazy, yet strangely likeable:

By the end, Murray’s McCracken has degenerated into a combover monstrosity of the highest comedic order. Look at how far Murray is willing to take the character into the depths of depravity and self-absorption:

According to Wikipedia, Murray ad-libbed every single line of dialogue in this film, which is remarkable considering the consistency on display. While KINGPIN boasts some terrific performances and memorable characters, Murray leads the way with his inspired, ego-free portrayal of one of cinema’s greatest villains. GENIUS!!

Here are Siskel and Ebert raving about the film, and singling out Murray’s perfect performance in particular:

Becoming Fanatical

For those of you that are Lost buffs, you may be familiar with the brilliant docarzt blog. The fine Doc covers all angles of the show better than nearly any other fan site. Doc is also responsible for starting thetailsection.com which any regular reader will tell you has gone down hill drastically since Doc’s departure. The point is, he is a good writer and a sharp mind when it comes to the world of television.

Now enter Fringe, this fall’s hottest new show. Fan sites are already popping up only five episodes in. For all those who may be trying to get on the bandwagon, Doc’s fringefanatic.com is a good place to start.

 

Dance Dance Election

The Presidential election is less than a month away and Barack Obama running away with the Presidency.  So, unless a bunch of dead people vote, the voting machines contain mystery votes before the election even starts or a candidates Governor family member helps McCain cheat his way into the Presidency, this thing is a done deal.  So I think we should decide the election another way.  A dance off.

Unbelievable McCain Vs. Obama Dance-Off – Watch more free videos

Ghostly Misled

                                                      

As Halloween approaches, David Harley of Bloody Disgusting.com added his 10 Must See Ghost Films to Amazon Blogs.   List are always arguable, because they are just some body’s opinion, but this one really misses the best ones.   Where are the The Sixth Sense, The Blair With Project, The Changeling and The Legend Of Hell House?  Isn’t this guy a so-called expert?  If you really want a great ghost movie, skip most of that list and check those out instead. 

Fake Tan, Fake President

Can’t stand Paris Hilton, but I love what she’s done with the American political process. A joke making a joke out of a joke. Brilliant.

The Midgets Will Get You

                       

Two of my favorite things are midgets and reading the police blotter and nothing is better than having a midget in the police blotter. Check out this police blotter and scroll down to the first blotter under Rockaway.  People in New Jersey are even more fucked up than I thought.  I just hope it wasn’t the midget above that was hiding.

How She Move – Ray’s Review

Directed by: Ian Iqbal Rashid

Written by: Annmarie Morais

Starring: Tre Armstrong, Rutina Wesley, and Dwain Murphy

Film: [rating:2]

DVD: [rating:2]

THE FILM

I live in St. Louis, which has been labelled “America’s Most Violent City” in recent years. Instead of resorting to step dancing to solve our problems, we prefer to steal, kill, and rape everything of value that moves. A deep racial divide still exists here. Perhaps that best explains why I am so bewildered and unfamiliar with the whole step dancing phenomenon that has infiltrated the movies recently.

Let me get this straight: step dancing involves people dancing at each other to make a point, wildly flailing their limbs in order to get “respect,” right? Ugh … whatever.

The newest entry in this unholy genre, which descends like a retarded step-child from the family tree of eighties breakdancing movies, is the “inspirational” How She Move. The film chronicles the desperate struggle of Raya to escape her go-nowhere ghetto lifestyle and make something of herself. Raya’s mother (or is it mutha?) wants her to use her vast intelligence in pursuit of a doctorate in medicine. However, Raya’s hood-rat friends want her to unleash the step dancing beast within, and conquer the big step dancing competition in Detroit.

Wanna guess what happens?

The script is pure paint-by-numbers, simply a longer and (slightly) more detailed version of Michael Jackson’s “Bad” video. However, the razor-thin characters are given ample life by the appealing cast of unknowns. Rutina Wesley manages to convey a lot of empathy and warmth as Raya. As Raya’s best friend and rival Michelle, Tre Armstrong fleshes out a strong-willed and conflicted three-dimensional character. Most impressive is the big-screen debut of Dwain Murphyas Bishop, Raya’s potential suitor. Murphy, strongly resembling a young Lawrence Fishburne in both appearance and charisma, effortlessly steals every scene with his cocky swagger. In all, this very appealing cast nearly saves this movie.

I must admit, though, that I fail to understand what it all means. None of the dancing on display here provides the requisite emotional lift that this Rocky-esque film requires; no dancer seems at any time different or betterthan anyone else. The film wants the audience to be as awed by Raya’s “skill” as the characters surrounding her. However, what does she do in this film that makes her dancing any different than anyone else on stage? Is it because glass shatters around her whenever she dances? The film fails to show us this intangible quality.

You know that disappointed feeling you get when a close boxing match ends without a knockout? The judges make a decision, and it always pisses off someone. It’s basically a standoff without a clear winner. Imagine if Rocky didn’t end with a knockout, but with a judgement call; it wouldn’t have nearly the same emotional punch. By comparison, How She Move wants to achieve that Rocky-like summit of emotional catharsis, yet the dance competition at the end lacks a definitive conclusion; it’s a judgement call. And from my vantage point, none of the dancing, while athletic, moves me very much.

And that damn title is bad English, folks. Let’s leave Ebonics to our imagination, shall we?

EXTRAS

There are some nice documentaries accompanying this movie, all of which serve to illuminate the winning cast.

The Characters of How She Move – What I loved about this documentary is the way it intertwines the performers with their characters. Some of the actors in this film were making their theatrical debuts, and their enthusiasm is infectious. Some of the actors, like Murphy, Brennan Gademans, and Kevin Duhaney,all come off as even more likeable and charismatic in real life than they do onscreen. For relative amateurs, they certainly did their homework to try and capture a sense of authenticity in their characters.

How She Move: From Rehearsal To Film – As one might expect, many weeks were spent fine-tuning the myriad dance sequences in the film. I particularly enjoyed watching the back and forth comparisons between the rehearsal and finished product. It’s very obvious that, regardless of your background or taste in dance, these kids have a lot of ability and very impressive skills.

How She Move: Telling Her Story- This documentary bugged me a little bit. Until this point in the disc, one might have gotten the impression that this film is an urban film “for the people, by the people.” However, this documentary peeks behind the scenes, only to show a bunch of old white people from MTV films and Paramount giggling with recollections about pitch meetings over lunch while discussing this idea. The only steps these guy would know about either involves a walker or a rehabilitation program. This documentary makes the film’s true intentions painfully obvious: make a film about the latest craze and tack onto it a “feel-good” plotline that will play to the oppressed. It manages to make this film, which I would classify as “okay,” into another cynical entry in the Breakdancin’ saga. Let’s call it Breakdancin’ 3: TweedleDeedleDee.

OVERALL

I have no idea who would actually buy into this “dancing as aggressive statement of principles” crap, but obviously someone does. If you find yourself unbelievably pumped up watching Janet Jackson robotically dance in front of a group of similarly-clad dancers, then this film is for you. The rest of the disc is nice, but ultimately it’s your love or hatred of the step dance craze that best determines the importance of this disc in your collection.

It makes me want to shoot someone. And no, not dance around pretending to shoot someone … actually shoot someone. Maybe it’s the Lou in me.

Lost 4.6 – The Other Woman

Sorry about the delay in the Lost post here it is.

Back to on island action and a character that we haven’t heard much from in while. After last week’s mindblowing Desmond episode we get back to the regular formula. And by “regular” I mean an actual flashBACK, who would have thought? The title The Other Woman, has multiple meanings, it refers of course to Juliette originally being an Other as well as her relationship to Goodwin. We learned a lot about Juliette’s time on the island, that she was in fact having an affair with the married Goodwin. Her therapist was Goodwin’s wife. And best of all Ben is obsessed with her. We always knew that there was something strange about their relationship, but we could never be certain what it was. Now we know.

We also saw Daniel and Charlotte go on a little trip. There mission was to find yet another Dharma station, the Tempest, and shut it down. The Tempest(get your Shakespeare reference here) was/is a power station on the island that contains chemicals that, according to the freighter folks, Ben plans to use against every one on the island. Daniel succeeds at the last moment to shut her down and saves the day. While the on-island action was pretty mundane there were some very interesting points made during the episode that made it better that it actually was.

• Ben gives us proof that Charles Widmore is the “man behind the curtain”. Perhaps not in the sense that Jacob was last year, but Penny’s pappy is certainly up to know good. First buying the Black Rock diary now beating people up in parking lots. Is there no end to his madness? I can’t imagine it will be long before we see an on air connection between Widmore/Piak(Sun’s Dad)/and Hanso. What The Lost Experience revealed to us nearly two years ago seems like its about to play out on the show.
• Ben is living the good life again. How long will it be before he double crosses Locke again?
• What was the meaning behind the horseshoe game if any? Was it just me or did it seem a really odd thing to place at the very end of an episode? Hurley is good at it too, which is surprising, he even seemed surprised. Remember when he was really good at HORSE in the season premier with Jack? Any connection or am I just reaching? The only thing that comes to mind maybe the freighter being a Trojan Horse reference. Thoughts?
• I you have the episode recorded, go back and listen to the whispers that Juliette hears in the jungle. Is that Ben’s voice, or was it just me? Has it been his voice all along, even in the Season 1 whispers?
• Juliette loves Jack. Who cares? If, at this point, you are watching the show for the Jack/Kate/Sawyer/Juliette crap then you obviously don’t understand what this show is bout at all.

Just one thing about next week. If Ben’s man on the freighter isn’t Michael then I will stop watching the show.

In Memoriam – Heath Ledger

Heath Ledger died today at the age of 28.  This is a terrible loss, not only for those close to him and the Hollywood community, but for fans of film every where.

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Parenting 101

The parents of the Earth today received terrible news when it was announced that Lynne Spears’ new parenting book is being postponed indefinitely.

Fortunately, some of the best advice contained within its thoughtfully-arranged pages has been passed on to us here at The Rec Show. Gaze upon these wondrous and wildly beneficial thought nuggets:

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Happy Fucking Holidays

Just trying to spread a bit of holiday cheer.  I need it, because in doing some shopping tonight I thought I might kill a motherfucker for double parking right in front of the Kohl’s.  So as my penance for hoping that Santa brings him gonorrhea for Christmas, I bring you some of my favorite holiday tunes.  Enjoy bitches, and have a Merry cocksuckin’ Christmas!

Thanksgiving Break

We’re all in hibernation mode here in Missouri. It’s freezing and miserable, just like Fall outta be.

We hope you’ve enjoyed your day with your family and friends. It’s a wonderful thing to be able to spend a day with loved ones, especially considering how hectic and confused our world has become over the years.

In the spirit of family and friendship on this day, we are taking a little break from the snark and bitchiness to celebrate our friend Scott’s new baby, Payton Robert Dalton. Here he is in his first starring role, as a brand new and justifiably confused baby boy:

    

Our buddy Scott had Peyton, his first child, at the Tony Randall-esque age of 44 years old. Our mutual friend and occassional commentor Ryk from Abandon Mythology has posted this wonderful advice column to assist Scott in dealing with being a new father.

If you have any advice you’d like to pass on, leave it for him in the comments section. Don’t bother telling him to avoid fatherhood at 44 years of age; it’s a bit late for that.

Shoot Me.

              

And you thought the one-sheet was bad. My advice? Don’t watch the trailer I’ve put after the jump.

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Stop Loss Of Quality

Recent films dealing with the foolish, U.S.-led Iraq war have met with harsh receptions at the box office. Particularly surprising among these was In The Valley Of Elah, which, as Chris reviewed here, contained some powerful performances.

Who knows why they failed. Americans are generally pissed off about the war, and these films look to capitalize on that feeling. One thing that I think all of them lack is that emotional connection to the young men and women serving there unecessarily. None of the films capture the feeling that I got like the night when Chris and I spoke to a 19 year old at a bar in south St. Louis. This kid was home for a week before going back for a second tour of duty there. He had shot 17 people. The look in his eyes will haunt me forever.

A new trailer has surfaced for a new Iraq War film, this time taking the perspective of the young men fighting in it. And it seems like it captures some of what I saw in that young man’s eyes that night.

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Take Down Your Nooses

I think everybody knows the story about the Jena 6.  This is a huge case of misjustice and people continue to show their support for the black victims.  A new song and video have been released in support of the black students and it has angered the town’s mayor. 

Before we get to the song let me fill you in on the story of the Jena 6, in case you have been living under a rock. 

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