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One Sheet Shitpaper: Made Of Honor
At one time Patrick Dempsey had a promising movie career. Although he was a decent-looking actor, Dempsey never achieved that Corey Haim level of Tiger Beat fame, opting instead for more comedically goofball roles. Unfortunately, Dempsey still made Haim-like choices in film roles at that young age, and 1989’s Loverboy was the nail in Dempsey’s fledgling career.
Now that he’s hot again - thanks to television’s big hit Grey’s Anatomy - Dempsey has returned to the movie screen. And man, does this thing look bad.
The Joys Of Being A Home Owner
My apologies for being absent for so long. My DSL connection has been down, and we are having issues here at the house. Problems such as these . . .
God help me!
You Don’t Pee From Your Clit
Last Monday, On The Tyra Banks Show, Tyra devoted the whole show to vagina’s. Tyra feels that woman have alot of questions about their cooch, but most are to afraid and embarrassed to ask anyone. She would like for woman to be able to openly discuss their vagina’s, without feeling embarrassed.
Lo-Life
Michael Lohan, the estranged father of one-time actress/drug addict Lindsay Lohan, doesn’t resemble a human being as much as he does a parasitic fungal infection.
His slobbering, narcissistic desire for attention has cost him his family, his freedom, and now his self-respect. That’s right … add one more reality television hopeful to the parade of scummy, Z-grade losers who want to cash in 13 minute’s worth of their Warholian “fame.”
Tuck And Roll
I love to report on famous people doing really stupid things, especially when they make me laugh. This story about Axl Rose is a great example. It’s pointless, but I find it really funny.
Guns’ N Roses crazy-ass, fat, obnoxious, asshole front-man Axl Rose has always been a sensitive, whiny, little bitch and Slash learned this first hand, years ago.
Movie or PC Game?
Does someone want tell me what the hell this is all about?
“>This looks like a PC game trailer from the late 80’s! I just…I just…I…ugh.
Metallica Play Garbage
It looks like I have yet another answer to look for in The Encyclopedia Of Metallica. I need an answer to this question. What the hell were they thinking covering Rare Earth and Garbage at the Bridge School Benefit?
The Encyclopedia Of Sellouts
Have you ever wondered why Metallica suck? Or maybe, why they sold out after years of preaching their rebellious, I don’t give a shit attitude? Well, those answers and more are only a few days away.
Why Does This Wand Smell Like Ass?
In the world of Harry Potter much is sacred, but apparently not the sexuality of one of the series most beloved characters. According to author J.K. Rowling Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore was a huge fudge packer.
I am currently reading the series and am only about half way through the fourth book so I may sound a bit naive in saying this, but is it really necessary to come out with this now? What’s the point? Is it to please fans that theorized it for a while? Is it to gain more headlines for the just completed series? Or is it to cash in on more books about Dumbledore’s past?
Either way I am not sure that this is the best example of a lasting memory for old Albus. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. But if he was gay why not be a bit more obvious about it from the start? Sure, you may want to hide from the young readers in the beginning, but if there is in fact nothing wrong with it, then what’s the big deal? It seems simple, be gay or don’t. Don’t try to be gay because it seems to be the “in” thing to do. That seems to be what Rowling is doing here.
Rowling did not have comment on whether Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, is also a fudge packer. But it sure sounds like it.
Thanks Yahoo.
PETA’s New Jackass
The newest no talent reality star face of PETA is the always naked Jackass star Steve-O.
Star Trek Chokes It
Endless, breathless announcements have clogged movie websites in recent days regarding J.J. Abrams’ reboot of the Star Trek franchise; in fact, Obsessed With Film had no fewer than three consecutive stories on the project today.
All of this bluster for something so completely and thoroughly dead.
Look Mom, Still No Panties
I like everybody else, am tired of Britney Spears. The problem is she just won’t stop doing stupid shit. Today she skipped a special child custody hearing, that she requested. Why could she possibly have been doing that was more important? She was driving around with no panties and showing us all her snatch.
The pictures are below, AND THE ARE DEFINITELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK AND SHOULD ONLY BE VIEWED BY ADULTS. Read more
Happy Birthday Dave
Today is David Lee Roth’s birthday. The once energetic, flamboyant, captivating Van Halen front man is 53 years old now. As we have documented here, with the new Van Halen performances, aging has been really tough for poor Dave. He is losing his hair, he is even more crazy and annoying than ever, his voices sounds terrible now, and he can’t do is big kick anymore.
So in honor of Dave’s birthday and the new VH tour, I thought I would give you a few VH related things that would make this tour even better tour.
Queen Clay
On November 11, a tribute to the legendary rock band QUEEN will be released. The album, entitled “Rock n’ Royalty: A Very Special Tribute To Queen” would be a great oppertunity to bring some of rocks biggest bands/singers in to pay tribute to the band. Queen’s back catalog of music paired with some of music’s best bands could be an amazing album. Their is one slight problem though.
Oops!!!…. It’s Over Already
Britney Spears’ name just can’t stay out of the news. She is like a magnet for doing really stupid shit and usually in front of a bunch of people. He newest bit of stupidity came in front of only one person so far.
YouLubed
No doubt about it - YouTube has revolutionized a revolutionary medium like the internet. What was once a medium for basement-dwelling morons has, thanks to YouTube, evolved into a place for talking-head, basement-dwelling morons.
Now YouTube wants to change movies.
Look, I’m all for it. I actually think that I’d prefer a Chris Crocker film to any of the regurgitated shit currently being spewed by Hollywood. And folks, that’s not an easy thing for me to type.
But a contest? Among current YouTube users?
Dumb Idea # 12,569
I admit I am a sucker for a clever commercial and the Geico.com auto insurance ads do tickle my fancy. Read more
Britney Loses The Kids
First Britney Spears lost her panties, then her hair, then her mind, then her career and now she has lost the kids. Read more
Oops, Busted Again
Less than one week after Britney Spears was ordered by a judge to stop drinking, that picture was taken.
Celine, Leave Us Alone
Celine Dion, the twig-thin songstress who has never met a ballad she didn’t want to scream straight to hell, has returned.
Unfortunately, she has decided to team with Ben Moody and David Hodges - who at one time were men with intact genitalia - to rework the classic Heart single Alone.
Check it out:
