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Person Of The Year
Time Magazine is getting ready to announce their Person Of The Year. They are allowing people to vote for the winner on their website (that’s always the best way to pick a winner, fuck actual accomplishments). It looks like the award this year will be going to go to an outstanding person, one who has change the world for the better. A person that has done many many great things. Currently leading the voting by more than 14,000 votes is…….
Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer: Caught On Tape
For years, people have questioned whether Santa Claus was real. You can argue all you want, but I know one thing. Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer is real. Don’t beleive me? He’s been caught on tape.
Huck Upchuck
Republican Presidential nominee Mike Huckabee looks like a child molestor. He covers over his slimy policy ideas with an air of righteous superiority that reminds me of a randomly-selected Baptist minister.
I don’t like the guy. But I do like his new ad, which features Chuck Norris. Yeah, that’s right. Chuck Fucking Norris.
Did He Really Want To Hurt Him
Boy George is a fucking freak. I’m not sure that anybody who has ever seen him would argue that. From his very early years as lead singer of The Culture Club, where he paraded around in a dress, jewelry and more make up than Tammy Faye Baker, it was obvious that something may be wrong with him.
The Other Hot Girl
Even though the film adaptation for Phillipa Gregory’s The Other Boleyn Girl looks pretty much like a total chick flick, I have to see it on principle alone. It stars 2 of the hottest actresses of our day, Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson. The best part is that they are pissed at each other in the film! Check out the trailer…
The New Cult Of Celebrity
Thanks to YouTube, we now have a new generation of kids growing up thinking that their every little fart can be famous.
But what YouTube has proven, without a doubt, is that real talent separates the true celebrities from the average person who dreams about it all day alone in their bedroom.
You Don’t Pee From Your Clit
Last Monday, On The Tyra Banks Show, Tyra devoted the whole show to vagina’s. Tyra feels that woman have alot of questions about their cooch, but most are to afraid and embarrassed to ask anyone. She would like for woman to be able to openly discuss their vagina’s, without feeling embarrassed.
Lord Of The Three Ring Binder
If you thought Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings and its related movies were the stuff of nerd heaven, then what do you make of it when it’s translated into origami?
That’s right … the figures in the above photograph are made of a single piece of paper!
Check out some of the fine detail:
Hello, Is It Me You’re Looking For?
Remember the great Lionel Richie video for the song Hello? You know, the one were the Lionel stalks a young blind woman, then she makes an exact sculpture of him even thought she has never seen or touched his face. Did you ever wonder if you could create such a great sculpture of Lionel Richie if you were blind? You not the only one.
Is It Hot In Here?
I take a neutral stand when it comes to government and politics. I honestly think that no government will ever, ever, ever, ever work. Afterall, history tends to repeat itself. That being said, I find myself pushing my jaw back up whenever Ron Paul stops speaking. After the jump, see how Paul is finally getting some REAL air time.
When Music Changed Everything
July 13, 1985.
It remains the largest single musical event in history. Twenty hours of music. Over fifty of music’s biggest acts. Three continents. 1.5 billion viewers. To date it has raised over $250 million dollars to save Ethiopia.
And, sadly, it will never happen again.
For Stern Justice
While humanity and the general direction of life on Earth resumed without even a pause following the drug-induced death of Anna Nicole Smith, the drama surrounding it continues to grow larger and - inexplicably - weirder.
A tape and eyewitness account has surfaced that reveal lawyer Howard K. Stern is suspect #1 in her emerging homicide case.
When Reality Intrudes On Reality Shows
Most reality shows these days have just enough actual reality in them to suspend your disbelief; by that I mean they feature humans on planet Earth. The rest of the time, they simply serve up the very worst human behaviors in a futile effort to titillate and excite. Most of them come off like watching The Sims imitating a typical Jerry Springer episode.
But sometimes the inexplicable happens, and it’s just genius. Like when perpetually perky Marie Osmond - who beat Tom Cruise to the title of moon-child weirdo by two decades - hilariously drops onto the floor on a live episode of Dancing With The Stars.
Check it out:
Boys Beware!!! The Homosexuals Are Going To Get You
In the 1950’s, people were very sexually repressed and extremely homophobic. People thought that being gay was a mental illness and they didn’t want their kids anywhere near homosexuals.
Coppola Ignores The Mirror
In a blistering and seemingly unprovoked rant in the New York Daily News, one-time director Francis Ford Coppola ripped into Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, and Jack Nicholson and the current state of their careers … seemingly without any sense of irony regarding his own.
Dana Carves Career Tombstone
At one time, no performer on television could touch the white-hot brilliance of Dana Carvey. Nearly single-handedly saving Saturday Night Live from the flaccid comedic penises of people like Joe Piscopo, Carvey created a string of memorable characters like George H.W. Bush (remember the gloriously free days when there was no necessary distinction needed for President Bush’s name?) and the Church Lady.
After enduring a life-threatening heart operation, Carvey took some time off. Unfortunately, his return to the biz has been less than successful. The comedian has taken a job shilling for the video rental website Netflix with a series of horrible movie review segments.
Best Political Commercial Ever?
Congressman Ron Paul’s campaign has really hit its stride over the last few weeks. The $5.1 million dollars raised in the third quarter rocked politics, and massive waves of supporters follow him around the country. Following his most recent debate appearance - which after-polls indicate he won by a landslide - news outlets are finally devoting breathless stories to cover the phenomenon.
Someone has culled together a stirring and impassioned montage of news clips about Paul’s rise and message. It might be the best such political trailer since Ronald Reagan’s salad days, otherwise known as the last time I fucked a pussy.
Take a look:
All That Is Man
Will Ferrell bares all in this EXTREME teaser trailer for his upcoming movie Semi-Pro. Check it out after the jump.
