I have a sneaking suspicion that this guy is faking these videos … but wouldn’t it be great if it was real?

With the hideously-tight shorts, the bulging belly, the lisp, and the atrocious athleticism, this video is begging to become viral. If it’s real, then I truly sympathize with poor little Cheryl the dog, who probably considers drowning herself in her water bowl after watching this moron flop around on the carpet. I’m thorry, I meant the “thick, blue carpet.”

Wow.

Rapper/pop singer Cazwell has released a new single called Ice Cream Truck. It’s dumber than a box of used condoms, but it’s pretty catchy, too. However, it’s the video that’s getting all of the attention.

NO HOMO!

Must I comment on this? All I can say from the bottom of my heart is that I sincerely hope this will not be me in a couple of years.

To my dismay, it’s been announced that Paramount has signed Taylor Lautner to star in the big-screen adaptation of Max Steele, automatically anointing him as the next big action hero.

Sure, the kid is good looking and has some athletic ability – so what? Doesn’t an action hero require a certain amount of gravitas and life experience? Lautner’s biggest concern in his life to date has been a zit.

Not to mention the kid is a fag … that never goes over well with the popcorn crowd.

The music world is buzzing today after last night’s American Music Awards telecast. Of course, they’re not talking about the awards given out, which were ridiculous (Michael Jackson? Please …). Nor were they talking about the great performances, mainly because there weren’t any.

No, they’re all in a tizzy because Adam Lambert, the drag queen runner-up from last year’s American Idol, debuted a horrid new song from his upcoming album. In the process, he simulated getting head from some dude, and then kissing another dude. For artistic shock reasons, no doubt.

Adam’s panties are all bunched up today as he defends his lewd choices in his performance. Frankly, he should be more concerned about the terrible song he was singing, or the fact that he sounded like a heavily-medicated Axl Rose on fire. It was an awful, silly performance of a rancid song, and it should effectively kill his career before it starts.

Thank God. Sometimes fate does everyone a solid.