Please Let This Be It
Filed under: Dumb Ideas, Good Grief, Kevin Smith Whorishness, Media Report, Media Weirdness, Music, Public Humiliation, RIP, Who Gives a Shit, Worst of the Worst
Michael Jackson has been dead for over six months now. His movie has come and gone. Hell, even the 35% of his body made of actual human flesh has disintegrated by now. Yet we’re still being deluged with Jackson-related garbage.
Not only are the money-hungry producers of Jackson’s This Is It pushing for a Best Picture Oscar nomination for their incomplete, hastily-edited rehearsal footage – possibly the worst Best Picture nominee ever conceived, but they have hired Spike “I hate the white man” Lee to direct a music video for the title song.
I really don’t care if you’re the biggest Michael Jackson fan alive, you must admit that this song sucks. It’s meaningless, with a limp vocal performance and even worse music. It’s not a fitting tribute to the man at all.
The video does a better job of saluting Jackson through pictures and video, with almost all of it coming from the pre-freak years. After the jump you can witness this newest Jackson-related cash grab:
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Sosa Lite
Filed under: Dumb Ideas, Freaks, Huh?, Media Weirdness

Former baseball cheater Sammy Sosa is in the news again. This times it’s not for steroids, forgeting to speak English or a comeback. Sosa showed up at the Latin Grammy Awards with a new look.
Review: THIS IS IT
The success of the new Michael Jackson “concert film” THIS IS IT depends largely on how each audience member perceives Jackson, his music, and the idea of what makes a true concert film. Culled from hundreds of hours of rehearsal footage, the film features a solitary Jackson singing and dancing in a void, surrounded by pomp and circumstance that is rendered meaningless in the wake of his untimely death.
No mention is made of Jackson’s death throughout the film. In fact, little is revealed about Jackson at all. We see him only on the stage, or interacting with the dancers, singers, and crew during the rehearsals. This choice severely limits the emotional resonance of the film, as moviegoers are forced to simply watch unfinished dry runs of his familar songs. It’s like watching Guitar Hero: Michael Jackson; you see and hear the familiar, but it’s only a thin carbon copy of the original brilliance.
I must admit that Jackson surprised me here. Though frail and gaunt in appearance, he manages to rip through several dance routines with ease. Even better is his voice, which still retains that delicious combination of fragility and soul. Going in, I expected a zombie-like Jackson lip-synching through his greatest hits. Instead, I saw flashes of Jackson pre-MTV, when he could stand on a stage and deliver magnificent live vocals. I have no idea if the actual show incorporated this much live singing, but THIS IS IT showcases a Jackson still capable of vocal fireworks.
Almost stealing the film from Jackson himself are the talented dancers, singers, and musicians that he employed for this aborted comeback tour. Many of the dancers came from faraway places like Australia and Holland, and they tearfully thank Jackson for the opportunity of a lifetime. On the musical end of things, Jackson smartly hired 24 year old guitarist Orianthi Panagaris, who simply shreds several guitar solos. The music is the primary reason to see this film, and I doubt if there have ever been better live versions of some of these songs. BEAT IT stands out in particular, with a thumping bass line and searing guitars pounding out from a well-equipped theater sound system.
Sadly, though, much of the extravagant live show that Jackson was feverishly putting together is lost here, as the rehearsal footage shot mostly focuses on Jackson and his dancers. It’s difficult to ascertain how each set piece – dancers, stage constructions, and video background footage – all fit together in the spectacle. This is especially true of the THRILLER performance, as much is made of the video reshoot, yet one cannot tell how it fits into the stage show. Losing the show even further is the lack of a live audience, a crucial element of any live performance. Without a crowd to goose, Jackson seems all alone and singing into the abyss, rather than feeding off of audience energy as he had so many times in the past.
Is This It?
Filed under: Kevin Smith Whorishness, Media Report, Movies, Music, Trailers, Tribute, WOW, Who Gives a Shit
Michael Jackson’s death in June has proven to be a goldmine for his family, agents, managers, casual associates, and enterprising entreprenuers. Like other dead celebrities, Jackson’s death has been the most lucrative career move he ever made.
Now get ready for Jackson’s next career move: box office giant.
The slimy owners of AEG, who sponsored Jackson’s aborted comeback tour, have been frantically editing Jackson’s rehearsal footage into a feature film/tribute/money grab called THIS IS IT. The stockholders of AEG claim this is an opportunity for Jackson fans to salute the fallen star; I suspect their motives are a little bit more selfish.
I must admit that this new trailer for the upcoming documentary makes me curious to see the film. Jackson looks much more aware than I previously thought, and the concert itself looks staggeringly epic and complex. Thoughts of “what might have been” hang over this movie like a dead man’s fart. There is no doubt that this will be a huge financial bonanza for everyone involved. Jackson fans will doubtlessly be pleased with it, and it will probably also satisfy the morbidly curious.
The Inspiration Of Beat It
Filed under: Freaks, Good Grief, Huh?, Media Weirdness, Music, Public Humiliation, WOW, Worst of the Worst
In a newly released interview (which was done in the 80’s) Micheal Jackson revealed that he thought the first mixes of the album Thriller sucked. MJ heard the recordings and said “Oh my, this music is just no good. I’m going to watch some little kids to get inspired again.”
So, MJ rode a bicycle down to a nearby school and sat a watched kids play for a while. After getting very excited by what he saw, he headed back down to the studio to remix the classic album.
So now we know the inspiration of Beat It and P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing). Now everytime I hear those song, I’ll feel dirty.
Reanimating Michael Jackson
Filed under: Corporate Evil, Editorial, Freaks, Good Grief, Gross, Hmmmmm, Kevin Smith Whorishness, Live Performances, Media Report, Media Weirdness, Movies, Television, Tribute, Who Gives a Shit, Worst of the Worst
The second wave of vultures have descended on the corpse of Michael Jackson, propping him up for their own personal gain.
Last night’s VMA ceremony opened with a ridiculous performance by Janet Jackson. Promised to make everyone cry, she instead forced everyone to shake their heads at her. Janet, your career is over. Stop milking your dead brother’s memory to boost it.
Michael Jackson Admits The Truth
Filed under: Funny, Greatest Of All Time, Internet Genius, Media Report, Media Weirdness, Miscellaneous Awesomeness, Perfection, WOW
Since Michael Jackson died, people have been asking the million dollar question: “Did he molest those young boys who slept over at Neverland?” Back in 1993, Michael Jackson admitted molesting young boys on national television, so why are people still questioning it? Here is the proof:
The Truth About Michael Jackson
Filed under: Editorial, Media Report, Media Weirdness, Music Discussion, Worst of the Worst
It’s been nearly a week since the death of Michael Jackson. The initial shock has faded, replaced by grandstanding, speculation, innuendo, and some very tasteless (and very funny) jokes.
Seemingly lost in the pandemonium are the simple truths about the man and the people around him. Truths like these:
Hottest Michael Jackson Video Ever?
Filed under: Greatest Of All Time, Gross, Hmmmmm, Music Discussion
As we fall away from the shocking and sudden death of Michael Jackson, we start to reminisce about various aspects of his talent and legacy.
One of the curious things about Jackson was his sexuality. At one time, he was considered the sexiest singer on the planet, which is hard to remember after years of freakish plastic surgeries. There certainly weren’t too many women lining up to be humped by the Zombie Michael we all knew and feared from the last decade. But his videos were, for the most part, much more reflective of the man himself – asexual, puerile, childish, and extravagant. Only in a few videos did Michael dabble with sexual themes or adult situations.
So I ask – which Michael Jackson video do you think is the hottest or sexiest video he ever made?
Here are your choices:
Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
I have never been much of a fan of Michael Jackson or his music. But I am a fan of his talent. And tonight, that talent – including so much unfulfilled potential – disintegrates on a coroner’s slab.
From the beginning, Michael Jackson was a star. As a six year old, he fronted a band with the raw sexuality and charisma of a person many decades older. As he grew into adulthood, his fame grew to astronomical proportions while his self-esteem shrunk inversely. Despite the bewildering successes he achieved in his life – massive albums like THRILLER and BAD, generous charitable organizations, and culturally-defining moments of pure performance – Jackson’s promise remained strangely unfulfilled.
Something Evils Lurking On Broadway
Filed under: Dumb Ideas, Freaks, Good Grief, Huh?, Live Performances, Media Report, Media Weirdness, Music, One Sheet Shitpaper
We all knew that Hollywood was out of ideas. It looks like the creative minds on Broadway have been sucked dry too. It was announced Monday that Micheal Jackson’s music video for Thriller will be the inspiration behind a new Hollywood musical. The musical will feature music from Jackson’s albums, Off The Wall and Thriller.
I would much rather see a musical featuring Wacko’s life at that time. That would be entertainment. You could have this head catching fire, man on monkey love with Bubbles, and scenes of him sleeping in the a hyperbaric oxygen chamber.
No matter what the theme is, it’s sure to be a sell out every night. If you can’t get tickets, just figure it will look something like this.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbvP7dT3Dx0[/youtube]
Wacko + His Kids = Distraction
Filed under: Freaks, Media Weirdness, Music, Public Humiliation, Worst of the Worst
Michael Jackson has banned his adopted white kids children from the recording studio while he works on his comeback album. Interestingly enough, the ban is for his kids and never mentions anybody else’s kids. After all, he has to get inspiration somewhere.
