What a pretty little princess

Taylor Lautner may be cute, and he has a good body (for now), but his tweenie-bopper Twilight fans need to face this tragic fact – the kid’s a fucking fag of the faggiest kind. He makes me look like a regular He-Man by comparison. 

In a hissy fit that would embarrass Elton John, Lautner is suing a company called McMahon’s RV because they didn’t deliver his $300,000 trailer to the set of his new movie Abduction on time. Apparently the company was supposed to have the trailer there by June 21, but they didn’t get it there on time. This, of course, forced Lautner to – GASP! – use a regular trailer like the other little people on set.

And this is the best part: he’s suing them for EMOTIONAL DISTRESS! Can you say FAAAAAAAAGGGG?

I’m sure it must’ve been difficult for poor young Taylor to be without his custom-made trailer, complete with dildos mounted on the walls, a lube station, and a special secret entrance for the boys to enter while escaping detection from the paparazzi. However, despite Taylor’s insatiable craving of the cock, I cannot imagine any MAN claiming emotional distress over a trailer arriving late. Seriously. If the company didn’t hold up their end of the deal, then sue them for breach of contract, dude. But not emotional distress.

Hey Taylor, look down between your legs. Do you see that flap of skin that vaguely resembles the male genitalia you hunger for every night and day? That indicates that you’re a MALE – start acting like one. Grow the fuck up, get over yourself, and stop being a whiny fag bitch. Instead of spending $300,000 on a trailer, go spend $10,000 on a nose job.

Oh, and for all of you crybabies who think Taylor isn’t gay – yeah riiiight – watch this video AGAIN:

What horrible childhood trauma occurred in the young life of Carrot Top to make him morph into a ginger-haired version of Michael Jackson?

The guy managed to achieve some level of fame in the late eighties/early nineties with an act full of groan-inducing sight gags. Once he made some cash, he decided to spend it on a series of face lifts and steroid injections that have turned him into the planet’s freakiest-looking dude. At this point, he probably terrifies his own mother.

TMZ caught up with Carrot Top on the streets of Los Angeles yesterday. Who knows why. But it does give us another opportunity to stare at a train wreck. By the way, there is no carpet – PUKE!