What a pretty little princess

Taylor Lautner may be cute, and he has a good body (for now), but his tweenie-bopper Twilight fans need to face this tragic fact – the kid’s a fucking fag of the faggiest kind. He makes me look like a regular He-Man by comparison. 

In a hissy fit that would embarrass Elton John, Lautner is suing a company called McMahon’s RV because they didn’t deliver his $300,000 trailer to the set of his new movie Abduction on time. Apparently the company was supposed to have the trailer there by June 21, but they didn’t get it there on time. This, of course, forced Lautner to – GASP! – use a regular trailer like the other little people on set.

And this is the best part: he’s suing them for EMOTIONAL DISTRESS! Can you say FAAAAAAAAGGGG?

I’m sure it must’ve been difficult for poor young Taylor to be without his custom-made trailer, complete with dildos mounted on the walls, a lube station, and a special secret entrance for the boys to enter while escaping detection from the paparazzi. However, despite Taylor’s insatiable craving of the cock, I cannot imagine any MAN claiming emotional distress over a trailer arriving late. Seriously. If the company didn’t hold up their end of the deal, then sue them for breach of contract, dude. But not emotional distress.

Hey Taylor, look down between your legs. Do you see that flap of skin that vaguely resembles the male genitalia you hunger for every night and day? That indicates that you’re a MALE – start acting like one. Grow the fuck up, get over yourself, and stop being a whiny fag bitch. Instead of spending $300,000 on a trailer, go spend $10,000 on a nose job.

Oh, and for all of you crybabies who think Taylor isn’t gay – yeah riiiight – watch this video AGAIN:

If you have children, especially girls, you need to see this video. This is a song about the age of sexual consent in each state. These are the actual laws and as father of girls, I’m highly disturbed by how low the age is in some states.

Apparently this little girl really got an education from her parents when she woke up and discovered them fucking in the other room. Lead by example, I say!

There’s nothing like a tranny-like South African sasquatch singing about her vagina to really get me rock hard in the morning!

On the plains of Africa this creature is known as Majela “Zee Zee” Diamond. The unusual first name “Majela”, roughly translated, means SLUT. When people talk about AIDS spreading through sex in Africa, one often scoffs at the idea that Africans are more promiscuous than other peoples. But maybe not after seeing this.

She has other “songs” about her pussy and what she likes to do with it. (more…)

One of the creepier aspects of the Star Wars universe to emerge from the George Lucas screenwriting method known as “make shit up as you go along” was the Luke and Leia incest subplot. They make out a few times, share some revealing glances, and then discover they’re actually brother and sister.

B-b-b-b-but it was all planned in advance, right George?

Now someone is making a web series to take this awful plot thread to its natural conclusion. Titled Gree-Morr: The Inbred Jedi, the Flash-based series follows Luke and Leia after they’ve conceived a mutant child from their lovemaking while Han was frozen in carbonite. Lovely.

Love what they did with the Lando character – hilarious! They have a website started to feature this ongoing series. It can be found right here.