What a pretty little princess

Taylor Lautner may be cute, and he has a good body (for now), but his tweenie-bopper Twilight fans need to face this tragic fact – the kid’s a fucking fag of the faggiest kind. He makes me look like a regular He-Man by comparison. 

In a hissy fit that would embarrass Elton John, Lautner is suing a company called McMahon’s RV because they didn’t deliver his $300,000 trailer to the set of his new movie Abduction on time. Apparently the company was supposed to have the trailer there by June 21, but they didn’t get it there on time. This, of course, forced Lautner to – GASP! – use a regular trailer like the other little people on set.

And this is the best part: he’s suing them for EMOTIONAL DISTRESS! Can you say FAAAAAAAAGGGG?

I’m sure it must’ve been difficult for poor young Taylor to be without his custom-made trailer, complete with dildos mounted on the walls, a lube station, and a special secret entrance for the boys to enter while escaping detection from the paparazzi. However, despite Taylor’s insatiable craving of the cock, I cannot imagine any MAN claiming emotional distress over a trailer arriving late. Seriously. If the company didn’t hold up their end of the deal, then sue them for breach of contract, dude. But not emotional distress.

Hey Taylor, look down between your legs. Do you see that flap of skin that vaguely resembles the male genitalia you hunger for every night and day? That indicates that you’re a MALE – start acting like one. Grow the fuck up, get over yourself, and stop being a whiny fag bitch. Instead of spending $300,000 on a trailer, go spend $10,000 on a nose job.

Oh, and for all of you crybabies who think Taylor isn’t gay – yeah riiiight – watch this video AGAIN:

On the plains of Africa this creature is known as Majela “Zee Zee” Diamond. The unusual first name “Majela”, roughly translated, means SLUT. When people talk about AIDS spreading through sex in Africa, one often scoffs at the idea that Africans are more promiscuous than other peoples. But maybe not after seeing this.

She has other “songs” about her pussy and what she likes to do with it. For instance, here is a lovely little ditty in which Majela threatens to show everyone her genitalia. RUN FOR THE HILLS, BOYS!

Dear Majela,

I know poverty sucks. You probably really hate living in a hovel out in the African wastelands, fighting lions and zebras for food every day. But these songs will not get you rich or famous in America. So, for the love of everything decent, stop making these songs. And for cryin’ out loud, stop showing people your vagina!

Love, The Rec Show

P.S. And use condoms, you dumb whore.

B-b-b-b-but it was all planned in advance, right George?

Now someone is making a web series to take this awful plot thread to its natural conclusion. Titled Gree-Morr: The Inbred Jedi, the Flash-based series follows Luke and Leia after they’ve conceived a mutant child from their lovemaking while Han was frozen in carbonite. Lovely.

Love what they did with the Lando character – hilarious! They have a website started to feature this ongoing series. It can be found right here.

In reality, gay men stick their wieners into the asses of other men, and occasionally their mouths as well. Of course, the asshole is not the most sanitary area of the human body, but it can be cleaned up enough so that shit doesn’t pour out when the dick goes in. I think most gay men do a certain amount of housekeeping prior to sex in order to prevent this very thing from happening.

Such a thought apparently never crossed the mind of the Ugandan priest/counselor in the video below. In it, he counsels a roomful of Ugandans about the dangers of homosexuality. In this guy’s mind, homos are ravenously eating out dirty assholes and swallowing “poo poo” all night long. Oh, and they seem to love to be fisted as well.

Perhaps Ugandan fags are different … but I’m pretty sure that most homosexuals do not eat excrement.

Check out the vid:

Like any straight man, this guy never seems to mention female homosexuals, otherwise known as “lesbians.” He wants to outlaw gay male sex, but lesbian sex is fiiiiiiiiiiine. I kept waiting for him to say, “Lesbian sex should be outlawed as well … unless I get to watch.” Frankly, gay men are much more pleasant than 98% of the lesbians I’ve ever known, all of whom carry around huge chips on their wide, flabby shoulders.

In the end, this is nothing more than reactionary hate speech by backwards peoples. WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE DO IN THIER PRIVATE LIVES? If you don’t like gays, then DON’T BE GAY. It’s just that simple. Why can’t people just stay the hell out of everyone else’s business?

No, they’re all in a tizzy because Adam Lambert, the drag queen runner-up from last year’s American Idol, debuted a horrid new song from his upcoming album. In the process, he simulated getting head from some dude, and then kissing another dude. For artistic shock reasons, no doubt.

Adam’s panties are all bunched up today as he defends his lewd choices in his performance. Frankly, he should be more concerned about the terrible song he was singing, or the fact that he sounded like a heavily-medicated Axl Rose on fire. It was an awful, silly performance of a rancid song, and it should effectively kill his career before it starts.

Thank God. Sometimes fate does everyone a solid.